Why Being a Student is Actually a Good Thing

I am a student.

For the past 22 years of my life (with the exception of one year off to work) I have been a student. My job is to read and study, to write papers and to do research. I've known I've had a nerdy streak all my life. This streak really started growing in high school. It was not very normal to like learning at Northland Pines High. We had a period called "resource," which was intended to be a 35-minute study hall each day. I remember sitting in resource as a sophomore and reading some novel or other for fun. It was probably Robert Louis Stevenson - I got on quite a kick of his for awhile. Anyway, I was quietly reading this novel when the girl who sat behind me (who was, in ways I was not and will never be, cool), tapped me on the shoulder. She rarely deigned to speak to me, a nerdy nerd, so I quickly turned around.

"Is that for a class?" she asked.

"No," I replied. "I'm just reading it on my own."

"Huh," she said, her thickly eye-lined eyes studying my own, quiet confused. "Well... do you want to borrow my Cosmo?"

Nice of her to ask. Surely anyone reading a book that wasn't for a class must be fresh out of magazines.

That was twelve years ago, and I'm still the one reading the books for fun, even if they're textbooks. At this point, it looks like I'm about six months from the end of my formal education. In the coming months I will begin to look for a ministerial job and end my official time as "student." I've been reflecting a lot lately on what it has meant to be a student, how students are treated in our culture, and on how I will continue to be a student even after the end of this degree.

This summer I interned as a hospital chaplain at a hospital in north Jersey. My supervisors were always quick to point out that if I got stuck in an awkward or difficult situation, it was always okay to proclaim my student status. The "I'm a student" or "I'm still in training" line would hopefully give people more compassion and understanding if I made a misstep. Yet, I often found the opposite.

The "I'm just a student" line was often greeted with raised eyebrows and a brush off. "Oh," people would say. "Can you get me the nurse?" In a teaching hospital where nine out of ten doctors were still "students" in the sense of being interns or in residency, a student chaplain seemed unprofessional. I quickly learned to keep that information to myself as much as possible. After all, who really wants someone to "practice" ministry on them?

Then I realized how I was introducing myself. "Just a student." I was demeaning my position on my own, leading them to believe I really was just. I had decided that being a student chaplain was far, far less than being an actual chaplain, and projecting my fear of inadequacy all over my patients and their families. With prayer and some wise instruction from my supervisors, I soon I changed the wording, and the confidence with which I presented myself. And suddenly I began doing ministry, not just playing at it.

These tricky moments helped me to reflect on what it means to be a student. Often we think of being a student as not knowing it all yet, or in the process of formation. If that is the definition, then I hope to always be a student. Both Goethe and Nietzsche agreed that those who "cease to change are not my friends." There is something about Christianity that necessitates discipleship and formation. We don't know it all yet. In fact, we never will.

The best pastors I know are all, by their own admission, still students. My CPE supervisors admitted to learning from us even as they taught. These role models of mine study the Scriptures, the tradition, our culture, their congregations. Many of them have returned or are currently working on advanced degrees to keep sharp and broaden their knowledge bases. There are different types of learning, of course. Some of us aren't the bookish types, and gravitate more toward the study of art or music, relationships or culture. That's fine - learning comes from all over, the key is to keep being open to it, and to seek it out. There's a whole crazy, interesting, wonderful world out there.

One of my favorite things about my parents is that they love to learn. My mom is always delving into some new craft or art project, and back when my sisters and I were homeschooled, she read dozens of books on the subject in order to help us succeed. My dad picks up things from baking bread to using Facebook to writing nonfiction. They are both eager to explore the world, and in part because of them, I am, too.

The moment we all decide that the student status is a lowly one, rather than the highest one, we stop growing ourselves. So be kind to the students in your life, or to yourself if you are one. Give your favorite student a hug - holing up with books and papers is often lonely. Admit to not knowing something this week, and ask to learn from someone who knows. There's no such thing as "just a student."