Sunday poems - "Another Reason I Don't Keep a Gun in the House"

I do love Billy Collins.

I posted on Facebook over a week ago about how the barking dog in our neighborhood is driving me  insane. He barks from 5:30am to 9:30am, nonstop, at about one-second intervals. Bark. Bark. Bark. Bark. Like a doggy metronome. Then, at 9:30am exactly, he stops. It's a mystery to me what he's on about and why he stops, but I would just love for him to knock it the heck off.

Of course, as of tomorrow I'll be getting up at 6am to go to work, so the dog will only cost me half an hour of sleep instead of the two or three he's been costing me lately.


My friend Melody reminded me of this poem to help me cope with the woofing madness.

I do so love Billy Collins.

"Another Reason Why I Don't Keep a Gun in the House"
Billy Collins


The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
He is barking the same high, rhythmic bark

that he barks every time they leave the house.
They must switch him on on their way out.


The neighbors' dog will not stop barking.
I close all the windows in the house
and put on a Beethoven symphony full blast
but I can still hear him muffled under the music,
barking, barking, barking


and now I can see him sitting in the orchestra,
his head raised confidently as if Beethoven
had included a part for barking dog.

When the record finally ends he is still barking,
sitting there in the oboe section barking,
his eyes fixed on the conductor who is
entreating him with his baton

while the other musicians listen in respectful
silence to the famous barking dog solo,
that endless coda that first established
Beethoven as an innovative genius.

Thanks to www.sunyulster.edu for the picture of Billy Collins.

Where AM I?

Daryl and I ran all of those annoying new-to-the-area errands yesterday. He changed our insurance from NJ to TN. We got new driver's licenses. We sat in some traffic (yeah, still figuring out when and where rush hour occurs in these here parts).

We were surprised to find out that the place where you get your new driver's license (the "Department of Safety," which, from the name, I would assume is where they inspect restaurants for health violations, but apparently is not) is not where you can also get new license plates for your car. So we headed out with our new DLs in hand to get our plates changed.

This particular office closed at 5pm. We arrived at 4:54pm and the line was halfway down the hall. This wasn't going to happen, but we decided to wait in line anyway. Just in case.

At 5pm a woman came out from behind the desk with a stack of labels in her hand. She handed each of us in the line one label and said, "We'll take all of you, but you're the last ones. If anyone comes after you, tell them to come back on Monday."

Daryl and I were flabbergasted. They were staying open late... for us? It was 5:03 on a FRIDAY. Why...?

We happily waited in line, and made it to the front around 5:20. The woman behind the desk filled out the necessary forms while chatting pleasantly with us both.

"Why do you stay open late?" we asked.

"What do you mean?" she said.

"Well... we were halfway down the hall, and it's after five."

"We wouldn't want you to have to come back on Monday!" she said, surprised.

"This wouldn't happen in New Jersey," I said.

"Really? Well whyever not?" she asked.

Just then there was a knock on the office door. The woman went to it, ready to explain to the would-be customer that they were now closed. It turned out to be the first customer of the day, who had returned at the day's end holding a box of cheesecake. 

"This is for you," she said to the woman. "I work at the Cheesecake Factory around the corner, and you mentioned that strawberry is your favorite."

By now my jaw was hanging open and Daryl's eyes were wide. The woman said goodbye, took her cheesecake, and returned to help us.

"That was so nice," she said. "I mentioned that I like cheesecake, so she brought me some! Isn't that sweet?"

Where am I living? Places stay open a few moments just to "be nice," and customers at the DMV return with large boxes of cheesecake just to "be nice." I'm 98% sure that if we had looked longingly enough at that cheesecake the woman would have sent us home with half of it.

Gosh, this place is nice.

Observations on Tennessee

Since I've now lived in Tennessee for eight days, I am an expert on Tennessee. No, really.

Actually I just wanted to share some observations from my first week here (much of which has been spent unpacking and running move-in errands to Target and Home Depot...). After I've been here months or years, they will surely change. There's nothing quite like the culture shock of the first week in a new place.

This list is not meant to communicate anything snide (such as: Tennessee is silly) or stereotypical (such as: people in the south are all ____), it's merely a list of observations gleaned from the past eight days.

1. People seem much more polite in Tennessee than in any state I've ever lived in.
This is, frankly, kind of unnerving after living in New Jersey. I'm torn between wanting to hug them ("Thank you for being NICE to me!") and wanting to check to make sure my wallet's still there.

2. The culture is more explicitly Christian than in the northeast or midwest.
There were Bible verses on the artwork on the walls of the hospital in town (don't worry - I was there for a meeting, not because I caught something terrible). There are about six decent Christian radio stations in town (SIX?!?!). Businesses often play these stations. It's just assumed that you go to church. We do go to church, but it's still odd when it's assumed.

3. It's legal to talk on the phone/text while driving. This is a terrible idea.
Many of the good folks of NJ are bad drivers. Very aggressive, very angry, very much in an utter hurry all the time. The folks in TN seem to be better drivers when they aren't on the phone. They seem to be on the phone a lot. I almost got mowed down in the Kroger parking lot by a soccer mom twenty minutes ago.

The Jersey girl in me muttered, not very charitably, "Thanks for almost killing me! Hope that phone call was REALLY IMPORTANT!" I'm going to need to stop doing that here.

4. The spirit of Tennessee seems to be, "It's really hot, but we'll do everything we would normally do even if it's 100 degrees outside."
People are washing the windows of a skyscraper in town today. It's 89 degrees out (with 217% humidity), and it isn't even noon. An elderly gentleman came by last week to mow our lawn - apparently he's contracted with our landlady - and we were utterly appalled. It was about 98 outside. We brought him a bottle of cold water and he kindly waved us off.

"I'm fine," he said. "This is normal." On the surface of the sun, maybe.

5. People talk about church like it's the weather.
Daryl and I went out to dinner a couple of days ago, and the waiter (who was a hipster British guy with messed up hair and an air of utter cool about him) found out we were new to the area and asked us if we'd found a church yet. Um... what? We appreciated his input, but it was so odd to have someone in the service industry just assume that we went to church. It was his third question after "where are you from" and "do you like Nashville." Odd indeed.

6. Sundresses are the thing to wear if you're a 20-something woman.
Seriously. When I wear shorts or pants out I feel very out of place. It's one way to beat the heat, I guess!


7. People in the service industry expect a greeting and a little bit of conversation before engaging in a business transaction.
I went into a meeting today all businesslike (as I've been trained in the northeast), and the receptionist responded with, "Good morning."

Taken aback, I responded in kind.

"How are you this morning?" she asked.

"Um, good?" I responded. "Can I--"

"It's a beautiful day," she said. By this point I was starting to understand the drill.

"Yes it is!" I said. "And how are you?"

After another thirty seconds of banter she helped me with what I was after. It reminds me of when my family traveled to France a decade ago and my dad kept getting reprimanded by salesclerks for his brusque, American manner.

"I'd like a--" he'd begin.

"Bonjour," they'd say, firmly.

"Right," he'd say. "I'd like a--"

"BONJOUR," they'd say again.

"Oh," he'd say, finally understanding. "Bonjour."

"What would you like?" they'd respond.

I'm going to have to relearn some social cues around these parts.


8. It's freaking hot here.
Oh my goodness. Daryl and I tried to be brave and go to the Nashville zoo (the zoo is one of my favorite, favorite things to do), and we only lasted an hour. We each drank a full water bottle and a soda, and we only lasted an hour. We melted into puddles of sweat and both came home with headaches. This will take some getting used to... Or else I'll stay inside until November. Either way.


9. It's the south. There will be bugs.
My word are there bugs. We live in the city, so we have it better than most country folks in this regard, but STILL... God bless the swallows and mourning doves that have built nests around our garage. They spend most of the day hopping around our front yard swallowing things. I want to truck in about fifty more of them.


10. I like it here.
I really do.

I Loved this Summer: Part 2

Part two of a wonderful summer begins in July. We celebrated Daryl's birthday in Wisconsin with gf German chocolate cake... Yum, yum, yum... I'm thankful to have a husband who was more than willing to let me bake him a gf cake so that I could share in the gluttony. He proclaimed it, "Just as good as a glutenous cake, and maybe even better. The frosting was definitely better!"

I discovered that making German chocolate cake frosting from scratch is pretty easy, but it's a bit horrifying what is in it. It is not good for you. But, birthdays are birthdays, and it was well worth all the butter and egg yolks for the amazing taste.

Aleah helped me do P90X. She was pretty awesome at it. She actually figured out the yoga positions and would do downward dog and upward dog before the fitness guy told her to do them. She's going to be quite the athlete!

Caitlyn was convinced that the water reserve tray for Daryl's coffee-maker birthday present was actually a giant remote control...

Daryl decided that we are probably not ready to have kids for awhile... (This is my favorite photo of the whole summer. You just can't beat these two facial expressions and matching outfits!)

We went to St. Joseph, Michigan, to visit our wonderful friends, and rode a bicycle surrey with a fringe on top. During our visit, Daniel (backseat) proposed to Megan (pink shirt) and she said YES! It's the first proposal I've ever been a part of (besides saying yes when Daryl asked, of course), and it was a wonderful and joyful day.

We had a great family reunion in Michigan (notice how many girls are in our family!). People came from as far as Pennsylvania for the annual event.

Sophie discovered her feet.

Aleah curled her... eyelashes?

We played about eight hundred games of mafia with the cousin crew (and I actually won one!)...

We saw the Cubs lose to the Cardinals on one of the windiest, hottest, rainiest days of the year. My knee-length skirt kept blowing up around my waist, so I actually had to change into some shorts I had in my backpack from staying at a friends' house the night before... I was never so grateful to have a backpack full of trip stuff. Came in verrrry handy.

We moved in to Nashville! This is a perfect picture of how randomly we packed some of the boxes. On top of those two boxes are the following: a three-hole punch, lavender soap from Trader Joe's, a makeup bag, one white heeled sandal, a small box of checkers, a handmade table runner (thanks, Caitlyn!), and six Christmas candle holders. What do these things have in common? Absolutely nothing.

And dear Eliot helped us unpack.

It was a good, good summer indeed. I'm sad to see it go!

Sunday poems - "Infirmity"

Sandi, a longtime friend of my family and an incredible woman of faith, passed away from cancer last week. Yesterday my mom went to her funeral, and spent part of the day with Sandi's husband and three school-aged kids.

Her death has made me reflective about many things. As her husband Brian wrote in an email sent to all of her friends and family - "cancer was the little 'c' in Sandi's life; Christ was the big 'C'." She had cancer for eight years, and was hopeful, loving, and active throughout those years, despite her diagnosis.

I miss her. My family will miss her. Many people around the country and the world will miss her. The first time I got an email signed just "Brian," and not "Brian and Sandi," it hit me that she is really gone.

I won't belabor things here - for those of you who didn't know her, this is abstract. For those of you who did, there are better and more beautiful tributes on her CaringBridge website. But I did want to post a Sunday poem here, in her memory, and in the spirit of faith in Jesus in which she lived her life.

"Infirmity" - Theodore Roethke

In purest song one plays the constant fool As changes shimmer in the inner eye. I stare and stare into a deepening pool And tell myself my image cannot die. I love myself: that’s my one constancy. Oh, to be something else, yet still to be! Sweet Christ, rejoice in my infirmity; There’s little left I care to call my own. Today they drained the fluid from a knee And pumped a shoulder full of cortisone; Thus I conform to my divinity By dying inward, like an aging tree. The instant ages on the living eye; Light on its rounds, a pure extreme of light Breaks on me as my meager flesh breaks down— The soul delights in that extremity. Blessed the meek; they shall inherit wrath; I’m son and father of my only death. A mind too active is no mind at all; The deep eye sees the shimmer on the stone; The eternal seeks, and finds, the temporal, The change from dark to light of the slow moon, Dead to myself, and all I hold most dear, I move beyond the reach of wind and fire. Deep in the greens of summer sing the lives I’ve come to love. A vireo whets its bill. The great day balances upon the leaves; My ears still hear the bird when all is still; My soul is still my soul, and still the Son, And knowing this, I am not yet undone. Things without hands take hands: there is no choice,— Eternity’s not easily come by. When opposites come suddenly in place, I teach my eyes to hear, my ears to see How body from spirit slowly does unwind Until we are pure spirit at the end.

I Loved this Summer: Part 1

Well, the new academic year is upon us. Daryl heads back to school on Monday. I start work the following Monday. I'm grieving the end of an incredible summer. Does it really have to end? Below are some of the promised pictures from a really wonderful and blessed time with family and friends in states across the country. I wish it never had to end...

We hung out at my parents' lake in Wisconsin and swam, swam, swam.

We visited Bayfield, Wisconsin, on wild Lake Superior with all its natural beauty.

We celebrated our friends Daniel and Emily's wedding with a post-wedding reception in northern Wisconsin. This is a photo of our old homeschooled group of friends. Sigh... Everyone's so grown up now!

I read books to my four-month old (and ridiculously adorable) niece, Sophie.

The girls had days out on the town.

My niece Aleah helped me put on some makeup for date night.

Sophie bonded with her great-grandpa.

Aleah wanted more brownies...

We visited the soon-to-be-married Mike and Tonia up in Duluth.

We saw Split Rock lighthouse on Lake Superior.

I wore my Chacos pretty much every day (and now have a rockin' sandal tan).

Daryl and Dad grilled in a downpour. That's dedication!

Mom and I did some great flea market shopping.

The rest? To be continued (including my very favorite photo of the whole summer!)...

Spider Update

Well, it happened.

I was sitting on the living room floor, assembling a shoe rack, when it happened.

A giant, massive, disgusting, spider crawled across the floor.

I had bare feet. What to do?

I didn't panic. I just calmly picked up part of the shoe rack and whapped the spider with it. One whap. Dead spider.

Then, I called Daryl and had a little mini-meltdown in his arms while babbling things like, "I would be such a terrible missionary! I could only be a missionary to Siberia, or to the reindeer herders! I would be a really good missionary to the reindeer herders!"

Sigh.

I also made him examine the spider (I'd do it, but then I'd wake him up every night for a week with my weird spider-phobic nightmares) and then look online to see if it was, in fact, venomous.

Was it a brown recluse? Results are inconclusive. It did have the telltale brown violin shape on its abdomen, but we couldn't count its eyes (I squished them), and the violin shape is also found on "the cellar spider, and the pirate spider." YUCK. Thanks, wikipedia.

I'm pretty sure it crawled out of our fireplace, so our next step is to have a massive fire in there and stomp on everything that crawls out. Ewwwww...

In the meantime, I'm doing my best to be really brave. And I'm wearing shoes now, for better stomping. Ah, Tennessee... You will certainly take me awhile to settle in.

Ten on Moving-In Day

As soon as I can find my camera cord (ah, the joys of moving), there will be many, many photos to share, both from the summer and from our new home city.

For now, with our home in fairly serious disarray (Daryl and I walk around going, "Where's my... Where's my...") and with small mountains of boxes still to unpack, we'll all have to settle for a "Ten on Tuesday"-style post. Bear with me, friends. I'm still looking for my socks...

1. What's your favorite thing about your new home?

Everything. No, really... I love, love, love, love, LOVE our new home. It's cute and charming and affordable and in a great location. By great location, I mean both not-in-New-Jersey and in a wonderful part of town that's within walking distance of half a dozen great locations.

I love the setup of the townhome - bedrooms upstairs, living/dining/kitchen downstairs.

I love all the sunlight we get, and that we can see the sunset from our front windows.

I love that Daryl and I live here together, like normal married folks are supposed to do.

I LOVE that we have a washer and dryer, and that said washer and dryer are not located in a moldy, spider-infested, continually-flooded basement. I don't have to save quarters, nor do I have to wear my hiking boots to avoid stepping in ankle-deep puddles. Glory be.

God has really blessed us in finding this new place, and I'm super grateful. After looking online for nearly a month, we had a list of "these-might-be-okay" places. My friend Megan (thank you, Megan!!!) gave me the advice to just drive around close to Daryl's school to see what we found. We sat in the car, prayed for guidance and wisdom, and drove straight to this place. I love it when God answers prayers in under a minute. It's rare, but I love it!

2. What has surprised you most about this move?

How much easier unloading is than loading. It took us two days to load up, and about three hours to unload. When we loaded our POD we had to carry everything around the building and up a hill in the backyard. Yuck. The bigger furniture had to go over the balcony railing. It was not fun for anyone, particularly Daryl and my Dad who did about 99% of the work, poor guys.

 Loading up:

Unloading:

Yes, I'm kidding. It wasn't quite as easy as a beach vacation. But... it was pretty easy. A million thanks to our Nashville-area friends Jacob, Ted, and Sean for helping with the heavy stuff. You guys rock.

3. What's your least favorite thing about your new home?

As I was unloading our dishes, I suddenly realized that there is not a single drawer in the kitchen. No drawers! I hadn't thought to look at this when we toured the house, because I've never been in a house without kitchen drawers. Where are we going to put the silverware? In mason jars? In some sort of caddy? In the pantry? To be determined...


4. What is the funniest fight you and your spouse have gotten into regarding this move?

We needed a little corner cabinet or shelving unit in the dining room (probably to hold the silverware, of all things...). We looked online and went back and forth about how much we could afford and whether we should buy something, etc., etc., etc. Daryl wanted something dark wood that would match the other furniture. I wanted a cute cottage-y white cabinet. We both got grumpy. Then we looked over to a pile of boxes on the other side of the room.

"Hey," I said. "What about that shelf we have right there?"

We had forgotten that we had a corner shelf, in our three months of moving madness.

"Well, that would work," he said.

Problem solved. Husband and wife = sheepishly friends again.

5. How do you like your new home town?

I LOVE Nashville. Love it. Love it.

I wish it was a little bit less hot... Maybe 90 instead of 98? But other than that I adore it. And I suppose the greenhouse-like heat and humidity are what cause all of these gorgeous flowers to thrive over on the university campus.

6. What are you most worried about in your new home?

Spiders. I know, that's kind of pathetic, and I haven't seen a single one yet, though I've poked around in all the closets and under all of the cabinets. But I know it's just a matter of time, since we live in the buggy south and all.

I woke Daryl up two nights ago yelling, "Get it off of me! Get it off!" and flipping back the covers of our bed.

He turned on the light switch and said, "Get WHAT off?"

"The spider... centipede... bug... thing..." I said, sleepily. That's when he knew I was dreaming.

"Great," he thought. "Now my wife is wanting me to kill imaginary bugs even in her sleep. Fantastic."

I'm not afraid of much. Tornadoes? No problem. Living in poverty? Come on, I went to graduate school twice. Grizzly bears? Leave them alone and they'll leave you alone. Tiny spiders? No problem. BIG spiders? Kill me now.

My northwoods mother is SO disappointed that she raised such a spider-phobic daughter. This summer I watched her grab big spiders by a leg and fling them off our deck railing. Um, YUCK! I don't have that level of poise and control. Sorry, mom. But you are pretty awesome.

This sums up my spider fear pretty perfectly.

(Thanks, hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com!)

7. When are you going back to work, again?

August 30. My birthday will also be my first day of work. Have I mentioned that I'll be working as a hospital/hospice chaplain this year? I'll be doing a CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) residency year (a year of advanced chaplaincy training) through a Nashville hospital and hospice program.

I'm looking forward to getting back to all the challenges, joys, and difficulties of chaplaincy. It's an incredible privilege to spend the final months/weeks/days of a person's life with them and with their family. There's really nothing quite like it.

It's also a field where I get to use all my ministerial skills, and one that continues to push me to grow as a minister and as a person. CPE has an educational component as well, which I love. It'd be hard for me to go from full-time student status to full-time-work-with-no-educational-component status.

Two weeks until Chaplain Courtney returns!


8. Why did you choose this new spot to live?

Daryl goes to school here. We moved to Princeton for me (though it ended up being a great move for him, as he eventually decided to do an M.Div. there as well), and now we've moved to Nashville for him. Also, have I mentioned that Nashville is awesome? It's awesome.


9. What has surprised you most about your new home?

How many friends and family are coming to visit! We had some great visitors in Princeton, but the most surprising thing to me was that as soon as we mentioned we were moving to Nashville, we were deluged with requests to visit.  Apparently visiting in New Jersey is just not quite as fun/cool/convenient/friendly as visiting in Nashville.

I'm 1,000% excited about having more visitors and being closer and more convenient to those we love. Come visit us, friends!

10. Who are you most looking forward to having visit your new home?

Um, everyone. Seriously. My family, Daryl's family, my friends from seminary, my friends from home, Daryl's friends from home, our friends from Nashville. Come! Come for dinner or games or just to hang out. If you're from out of town, we (for the first time in our married life!) have a guest room! In two weeks we'll even have a guest bed! So you should probably wait two weeks. But then come!

Also, have I mentioned that Nashville is awesome? We have all the music you can stand, pro sports teams, great hiking trails, and all the gluten-free options a person could want (though this probably appeals more to me than to most of you). We also have two fat and happy cats who like to sleep on visitors faces. They'd be happy to sleep on yours.

I Guess I'm Cool Now

I live in Nashville now.

Me.

I live in Nashville.

So does Taylor Swift, Tim McGraw, Amy Grant, and the Kings of Leon.

The Avett Brothers concert here sold out in about nine minutes.

People run into Carrie Underwood and the guys from Switchfoot at the dry cleaners.

It's pretty neat.

Am I Ready for This?

There are many updates to be made on this wonderful summer I've had. Daryl and I have traveled to Duluth, Minnesota; Bayfield, Wisconsin, Chicago; and various parts of Michigan. We've visited with friends and hung out for a week with my entire extended family on my dad's side. More than all of that, we've been at my childhood home with my parents, sisters, brother-in-law, and niece for enough time that none of us were counting down the days we had left.

It's been wonderful.

There will be many pictures to come, but until I get those loaded,  I have some other news to share...

We move to Nashville in just three days! For the first time in our lives (minus the year Daryl had in Nashville, but we're counting this year as our first "official" stay) we will be southerners. We will be Nashville-ites. We will brave the crazy humidity and the boisterous thunderstorms (and the occasional giant spider) and move into our first real grown-up home. Prior to this we've been either in an apartment or in college/seminary housing. This is the first place we've really chosen as adults. It has a WASHER and DRYER. We are going to get some patio furniture! It's going to be wonderful.

I checked the weather for the next ten days, just to see what our move-in would look like:

Friday: 96 degrees, thunderstorms

Saturday: 93 degrees, thunderstorms

Sunday: 90, thunderstorms

Monday: 90, thunderstorms

Tuesday: 89, thunderstorms

Wednesday: 89, thunderstorms

Thursday: 87, thunderstorms

Friday: 89, thunderstorms

On the upside, it does look to be cooling off a bit...

I am 100% excited, but I'm also wondering, am I ready for this part of the country? That's some weather there, folks! Eep...

Ouch. My ____ Hurts!

I have been seriously out of shape for the past three years.

That's not a sentence I thought I'd ever write. Growing up I played ice hockey and soccer and ran track. I was always in shape.

In college I rock climbed four or five days a week. I had shoulder muscles on my shoulder muscles. I had triceps on my triceps. I could do (wait for it... wait for it...) NINE pull-ups in a row. It was rad.

But then I went to graduate school and spent all my time hunched over my laptop writing papers. The time I had where I wasn't hunched over my laptop writing papers I was either working dozens of hours at an internship, teaching classes at a local university, working as a teaching assistant at the seminary, or (most often) all three. After days like those I would be lucky if I could cook dinner before I collapse onto the couch to do the next day's reading.

I learned a heckuvalot, but I sure didn't exercise.

By this point in the post, if you don't know me personally, you're probably picturing a giant, flabby person. That's the thing, though - I haven't really gained any weight. This is good and bad. Good because I still fit in my clothes, but bad because I had no real incentive to get back in shape. Why bother?

Well, now is the time. This summer I've spent time with family in northern Wisconsin and I have decided - nay, vowed - to get back in shape. No matter what. At any cost. My rationale is this: if I can't exercise now, with no real time commitments, I will never exercise again.

Fifteen days ago, I began ninety days of insanity.

I began P90X.

P90X is basically a 90-day boot camp to get in great shape. It's a big infomercial seller, but my parents had the good fortune to find it at a local thrift store for $20.00, so I'm doing it for free right now. You exercise for between an hour and an hour and a half six days a week at intense levels. You work out your arms, legs, abs, and cardio. You push yourself to the point of wanting to throw up. It's insanity, I tell you!

After two weeks, my everything hurts. On the upside, I am beginning to see a bit of toning in my arms, legs, and abs. And I'm sleeping better than I have in years. I mean, like the dead, sleeping. It's glorious.

Daryl's doing it with me. It's hard. It's glorious. It's necessary. It's time.

We'll keep you posted.