I'll Have the Croissant Sandwich, with Noodles and Croutons.

Food allergies are annoying. This is embarrassing to admit, but I've always felt a touch of dislike for people who have food allergies. Not their fault, I know, but it sure does complicate a dinner when you have to avoid dairy, tree nuts, random produce, or (worse yet) gluten. Food allergies can be irritating, inconvenient, or even, in their worst moments, truly dangerous (nooooo! I forgot that cookie has peanut butter!!!!).

God must have a sense of humor, because at the beginning of this academic year I discovered that I am gluten-intolerant. Not only that, but many of the health problems that had sent me to the doctor over the past five years (anemia, exhaustion, and severe stomach cramps, to name a few) were caused by eating my favorite food: bread. With that discovery, thanks to the help of gf/gf-knowledgeable friends (love you, Heather, Brandi, Kris, and Nancy!) I began my gluten-free journey.

When I say I'm "gluten-free" I don't mean "I-generally-avoid-wheat" or even "this seems like a fun diet trick to try." I mean hard-core, very serious gluten-free. I read ingredients, Google restaurant menus, seek out gluten-free restaurants and baking supplies, and can tell within half an hour if I've accidentally ingested that which poisons my system. I have "cheated" only four times, two of which were at church communion when I forgot to bring my own gf bread and prayed that Jesus would protect me from communion-bread gluten (he didn't, and for the record, I don't think eating the wheat communion bread, gluten-intolerance be damned, is a very theologically sound idea). Once was when Daryl and I ate dinner at Outback Steakhouse and that dark brown molasses-y bread they brought out was just too tempting. I took a bite. One little bite. I soon regretted it.

The other time was at Carlos' Bakery in Hoboken when my little sister was in town. Because, I mean, come on, it's Carlos' Bakery! From Cake Boss! And you can't walk through a bakery like this and not be desperate for a cupcake. I ate one. Just one. And again, soon regretted it (but boy, was it tasty!).

Except for those slip-ups (all of which happened early on in the fall) I've now been gluten-free for eight solid months. In many ways it seems longer than this. I (mercifully) hardly remember feeling sick and exhausted almost all the time. When people give me the "awww... too bad" face when I mention my dietary state, I gently and quickly correct them. "Don't feel bad for me - I feel better than I've felt in years!" Giving up gluten was a small price to pay to not go again and again to the doctor where I'm told any number of things ranging from "it's just stress" to "are you sure you're really sick?" to (and this is my favorite) "eat more whole wheat!" It's a small price to pay for a hugely improved quality of life. The longer gluten is out of my system, the more even a tiny accidental bit knocks me out. Needless to say, my "cheating" days are long over.

I've adapted fairly well to the challenges of a gluten-free lifestyle. I know the lengthy list of ingredients I have to avoid, and I've gotten creative in the kitchen to fill in the gaps. I bake my own bread once a week, and I know by heart the list of "safe" candy when my sweet tooth gets the best of me. For an Easter lunch with friends I even baked my first apple pie. As it cooled, I ran from the kitchen to the living room where Daryl was sitting, jumped on his lap, and proclaimed with glee, "I made a PIE!" This would have been a feat even if it was a normal pie, but with the added challenge of being gluten-free, I felt like a rock star. Sure, I have 70-pages worth of final papers to write and no job for the coming year, but I made a pie!

There are only two things that I still struggle with when it comes to being gluten-free.

1. Favorite family or traditional foods that full of gluten. My family bakes. When I went home for Christmas my parents were incredibly kind about changing recipes so that I could eat with the family. Mom made me an amazing clementine cake and changed the recipe for the gravy so I could partake. Aside from the basket of rolls on Christmas day, I could eat almost everything. But there are some select family favorites that are very glutinous that I just can't share anymore. Cinnamon rolls. Almond-sugar cookies. Bisquick biscuits. At parties with friends I have to stay away from the birthday cake. It's always a little bit of a bummer. Yet, I don't want people to have to cook around me. After all, at a big enough gathering there will be people who are allergic to nearly everything, and that gets tricky. So what do I do? Bring my own little piece of cake? Pretend I'm not craving that sugar cookie? I went to a wonderful Christmas party at the seminary where I could eat two things: chicken and Hershey kisses. It was a great party but a long, hungry night.

I've learned to offer to bring gf things to gatherings, and I often bake on my own to fill in the gaps. I brought pie to Easter lunch (have I told you that I made a PIE?!?!), baked peanut-butter cookies from my brother-in-law's gf recipes for Christmas, and begged my little sis to bring me things from the Cooqi bakery near her home in Minneapolis (oddly enough there's no gf bakery in or near Princeton). I've learned to do without, to make do, and to fill in the gaps. But sometimes walking past that tray of cinnamon rolls or going an entire night with only meat and chocolate in my stomach can be tough.

What do the rest of you do?

2. Restaurants. Ah, restaurants... Occasionally this goes well. A handful of restaurants "get" the gf thing and are very accommodating. Those that get my halo of praise include PF Changs (they put the gf menu on the back of the real one! like gluten-intolerant folks are just like normal people!), Outback, and Maggianos Italian. Good fast food options are In n' Out (if only we had some east of the Mississippi!) and Chipotle. However, these are the exceptions, unless I want to survive solely on salads and soda.

I've learned the food-allergy manners. Don't go during a rush (it's hard to take a special order when the restaurant is overflowing with customers). Explain things clearly and politely, but don't back down. Explain that even a crumb or two can make you sick. Be willing to compromise on your order if they can't make it safely. Be willing to leave hungry if absolutely necessary.

Still, in the past eight months I've mentioned to a server or waiter that I am gluten-intolerant (I have yet to discover a good way to explain this quickly - if you say "I have a wheat allergy" it doesn't cover all problematic ingredients, but if you mention gluten often people don't know what you mean... It's not as straightforward as a dairy allergy.) and have gotten the following responses:

1. I don't have any idea what that is. ("Well, ask me, silly!")

2. I'm sure everything's fine. ("Liar. Now I'm going to get sick and your tip is going down.")

3. That will be perfect for you! It comes on a croissant! ("Um... and croissants are made out of what now?")

4. Eye roll. ("Now your tip is definitely going down.")

5. The salads come pre-made, but I can take off the croutons. ("Sigh...")

A good restaurant experience assures that Daryl and I will be back, while a bad one usually means I spend at least part of that day in bed--not a good risk to take. Usually it's easier just to stay home. Money is tight, so the risk of eating out and spending money when it may end in disaster is hard to muster sometimes. Still, every once in awhile the risk is necessary. We get stir-crazy or have a long week and need a little break. And then we venture forth into the world of restaurants with hope and fear. Sometimes it goes well. Sometimes not. I'm still learning.

Are any of you struggling with food issues or allergies? Does anyone have insight into how to make these restaurant/favorite food struggles a little easier?

I've not posted a good gf recipe in awhile, but I'll get back to that soon. My success test continues to be Daryl: if he'll eat what I've made and proclaim it "just as good!" or even, occasionally "even better!" than the regular gluten-y version, I consider it a success.