Thankful

My friend Nish is a great blogger who does a "Thankful on a Thursday" post each week. I'm not great about doing the same type of post every week (see my attempts at Tuesday Recipes and Sunday Poems for examples of that...), but I want to post my thanks this week.

A wonderful, wonderful professor of mine (Dr. Shane Berg - if you're ever a PTS student, take every class you can with him!) is fond of talking about the cycle between thanksgiving and blessing. When we are thankful for others and express that thanks, they are blessed. When we practice gratitude, we are blessed. When we remember our blessings, we become thankful.

I can be a complainer sometimes. Occasionally I have real things to complain about (my cat was dying! my husband is a thousand miles away! the current job market = abysmal!). More often than not my complaining comes from a lack of expressing gratitude and thankfulness in the things I have, both big things and small. It isn't that I am not thankful, it's that it's easier to grouse than to praise, easier to gripe than to thank. I want to change this, expressing the gratitude that is in my heart more regularly. Hence, today's post.

I'm fighting off some significant weariness right now. It has been a long, hard year, and it will take awhile for the core tiredness to fade. I'm a good finisher. I can always finish and finish fairly strong. Once on a drive across the country, Daryl was fading. He's usually the workhorse when we drive; he can drive for hours and hours with nothing but a Mountain Dew and some hard rock on the radio. I can drive for three hours or so, and then I fade. But it was two in the morning in the middle of Nebraska, and he was beat. I got behind the wheel, steeled myself for a long haul, and brought us to the hotel safe and sound in the early hours of the morning. When we pulled up I drove the car under the hotel awning, laid my head on the steering wheel, told Daryl we were there, and promptly fell asleep. This is how I feel at the close of this long, hard, marathon of a year. I'm in. And now I'm exhausted.

This exhaustion, this realization of all I've been through and all that God has brought me through this year makes me even more thankful. I couldn't have done this on my own strength. I've leaned on the Lord. I've leaned on others. I've asked for help when I've needed it, and help has come. And I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for professors who have helped me develop my theology, shared their lives with me, and taught me more than they'll ever know. Thank you, Drs. Berg, Osmer, Brown, Seow, McCormack, Hutton, Duff, Charry, Lee, Lapsley, Appold, Rorem, and Capps. Thank you for teaching me practical theology, ethics, systematics, Greek, Hebrew, church history, homiletics, and the importance of nurturing my personal faith. Thank you for pouring your lives into your students, for laughing with us, for giving us your time and energy, and for working so very hard.

I'm thankful for friends. I won't list because then I'll forget some, but I'm so thankful for friends this year. Friends from seminary, new and old. Friends from home. Family friends.

I'm thankful for family. Family who understands me, supports me, and always welcomes me with open arms, no matter how grumpy, exhausted, or bedraggled I may be.

I'm thankful for two snuggly cats. Some cats don't show affection; mine are snuggly, snuggly cats. They climb on my lap and purr and purr. Not much makes me feel that appreciated.

I'm thankful for the end of this season.

I'm thankful that I'm heading toward a (much-needed!) vacation.

I'm thankful for the abundance of gluten-free foods out there these days. I had pretzels with my lunch. Pretzels! And they were amazing.

I'm thankful for the Princeton Public library. I walked out of there with eight new novels (I'm going on vacation! Woo hoo!) and three books on tape. Daryl and I get to drive across the country listening to Bill Bryson. I always feel like the richest person on earth when I leave a library. I get all of these!? For free!? Are you sure?

When my parents first took me trick-or-treating as a three year old, they told me that if I knocked on a door and said "trick or treat" the person living there would give me candy. I thought they were crazy and wouldn't do it. So my dad picked me up, knocked on that first door, and... I got candy! I looked down into my bucket, my eyes wide, paused for a second or two, then took off sprinting toward the next house. I had discovered the greatest scam on earth! That's how I feel about the library. What a great country we live in! Free candy AND free books! My two favorite things!

I'm thankful for friends' blogs that encourage me and others.

I'm thankful for the weather during final exams. Cool and breezy - perfect in an un-airconditioned apartment during a tough academic time.

I'm thankful for fresh raspberries in the fridge.

I'm thankful for final meetings with Princeton folk--professors, friends, colleagues.

I'm thankful for a successful class at Rider and a great group of students. I'm thankful for the provision of that job, and all I've learned from teaching through the years.

I'm thankful for the incredible generosity of friends who have housed Daryl and a friend who loaned us her car for the year.

I'm thankful for how their generosity has taught me to be more generous with what I have.

I'm thankful for laughter. Laughing with friends, funny movies, funny books, and times where I just have to laugh at myself.

I'm thankful for a God who never leaves, never forsakes, and never abandons. I'm thankful for a God whose promises are new every morning. I'm thankful for a God who has confirmed time and time again that Daryl and I are on the right path this year. I'm thankful for a God who is real and alive.

Mostly I'm just thankful.

What are you thankful for today?