Gather 'Round, for I Have News!

To Make You Laugh

I discovered this hilarious website a few days ago, and haven't been able to get enough:

Not Always Right.

It's folks in customer service who deal with customers who are... well... not always right. Occasionally there's a crass one, so my apologies if it's a little too much. It makes me giggle, so I thought I'd share.

The "no pancakes" one is my current favorite.

Oh Tennessee...

During the past week, I've seen/heard/witnessed the following two things:

1. People crying on the nightly news. Why? Were they broken up about another flood? An accident? An approaching hurricane? Nope. They were crying because tonight is the final Brooks & Dunn concert EVER.

2. A grown man, professionally dressed, use the phrase: "Oh me oh my!"

Tennessee makes me smile. Sometimes it makes me laugh. People here don't seem to take themselves overly seriously. All of this is good. Very good.

Found on a Bethel University professor's office door:

My mom found this.

I had to share.

I'll Have the Croissant Sandwich, with Noodles and Croutons.

Food allergies are annoying. This is embarrassing to admit, but I've always felt a touch of dislike for people who have food allergies. Not their fault, I know, but it sure does complicate a dinner when you have to avoid dairy, tree nuts, random produce, or (worse yet) gluten. Food allergies can be irritating, inconvenient, or even, in their worst moments, truly dangerous (nooooo! I forgot that cookie has peanut butter!!!!).

God must have a sense of humor, because at the beginning of this academic year I discovered that I am gluten-intolerant. Not only that, but many of the health problems that had sent me to the doctor over the past five years (anemia, exhaustion, and severe stomach cramps, to name a few) were caused by eating my favorite food: bread. With that discovery, thanks to the help of gf/gf-knowledgeable friends (love you, Heather, Brandi, Kris, and Nancy!) I began my gluten-free journey.

When I say I'm "gluten-free" I don't mean "I-generally-avoid-wheat" or even "this seems like a fun diet trick to try." I mean hard-core, very serious gluten-free. I read ingredients, Google restaurant menus, seek out gluten-free restaurants and baking supplies, and can tell within half an hour if I've accidentally ingested that which poisons my system. I have "cheated" only four times, two of which were at church communion when I forgot to bring my own gf bread and prayed that Jesus would protect me from communion-bread gluten (he didn't, and for the record, I don't think eating the wheat communion bread, gluten-intolerance be damned, is a very theologically sound idea). Once was when Daryl and I ate dinner at Outback Steakhouse and that dark brown molasses-y bread they brought out was just too tempting. I took a bite. One little bite. I soon regretted it.

The other time was at Carlos' Bakery in Hoboken when my little sister was in town. Because, I mean, come on, it's Carlos' Bakery! From Cake Boss! And you can't walk through a bakery like this and not be desperate for a cupcake. I ate one. Just one. And again, soon regretted it (but boy, was it tasty!).

Except for those slip-ups (all of which happened early on in the fall) I've now been gluten-free for eight solid months. In many ways it seems longer than this. I (mercifully) hardly remember feeling sick and exhausted almost all the time. When people give me the "awww... too bad" face when I mention my dietary state, I gently and quickly correct them. "Don't feel bad for me - I feel better than I've felt in years!" Giving up gluten was a small price to pay to not go again and again to the doctor where I'm told any number of things ranging from "it's just stress" to "are you sure you're really sick?" to (and this is my favorite) "eat more whole wheat!" It's a small price to pay for a hugely improved quality of life. The longer gluten is out of my system, the more even a tiny accidental bit knocks me out. Needless to say, my "cheating" days are long over.

I've adapted fairly well to the challenges of a gluten-free lifestyle. I know the lengthy list of ingredients I have to avoid, and I've gotten creative in the kitchen to fill in the gaps. I bake my own bread once a week, and I know by heart the list of "safe" candy when my sweet tooth gets the best of me. For an Easter lunch with friends I even baked my first apple pie. As it cooled, I ran from the kitchen to the living room where Daryl was sitting, jumped on his lap, and proclaimed with glee, "I made a PIE!" This would have been a feat even if it was a normal pie, but with the added challenge of being gluten-free, I felt like a rock star. Sure, I have 70-pages worth of final papers to write and no job for the coming year, but I made a pie!

There are only two things that I still struggle with when it comes to being gluten-free.

1. Favorite family or traditional foods that full of gluten. My family bakes. When I went home for Christmas my parents were incredibly kind about changing recipes so that I could eat with the family. Mom made me an amazing clementine cake and changed the recipe for the gravy so I could partake. Aside from the basket of rolls on Christmas day, I could eat almost everything. But there are some select family favorites that are very glutinous that I just can't share anymore. Cinnamon rolls. Almond-sugar cookies. Bisquick biscuits. At parties with friends I have to stay away from the birthday cake. It's always a little bit of a bummer. Yet, I don't want people to have to cook around me. After all, at a big enough gathering there will be people who are allergic to nearly everything, and that gets tricky. So what do I do? Bring my own little piece of cake? Pretend I'm not craving that sugar cookie? I went to a wonderful Christmas party at the seminary where I could eat two things: chicken and Hershey kisses. It was a great party but a long, hungry night.

I've learned to offer to bring gf things to gatherings, and I often bake on my own to fill in the gaps. I brought pie to Easter lunch (have I told you that I made a PIE?!?!), baked peanut-butter cookies from my brother-in-law's gf recipes for Christmas, and begged my little sis to bring me things from the Cooqi bakery near her home in Minneapolis (oddly enough there's no gf bakery in or near Princeton). I've learned to do without, to make do, and to fill in the gaps. But sometimes walking past that tray of cinnamon rolls or going an entire night with only meat and chocolate in my stomach can be tough.

What do the rest of you do?

2. Restaurants. Ah, restaurants... Occasionally this goes well. A handful of restaurants "get" the gf thing and are very accommodating. Those that get my halo of praise include PF Changs (they put the gf menu on the back of the real one! like gluten-intolerant folks are just like normal people!), Outback, and Maggianos Italian. Good fast food options are In n' Out (if only we had some east of the Mississippi!) and Chipotle. However, these are the exceptions, unless I want to survive solely on salads and soda.

I've learned the food-allergy manners. Don't go during a rush (it's hard to take a special order when the restaurant is overflowing with customers). Explain things clearly and politely, but don't back down. Explain that even a crumb or two can make you sick. Be willing to compromise on your order if they can't make it safely. Be willing to leave hungry if absolutely necessary.

Still, in the past eight months I've mentioned to a server or waiter that I am gluten-intolerant (I have yet to discover a good way to explain this quickly - if you say "I have a wheat allergy" it doesn't cover all problematic ingredients, but if you mention gluten often people don't know what you mean... It's not as straightforward as a dairy allergy.) and have gotten the following responses:

1. I don't have any idea what that is. ("Well, ask me, silly!")

2. I'm sure everything's fine. ("Liar. Now I'm going to get sick and your tip is going down.")

3. That will be perfect for you! It comes on a croissant! ("Um... and croissants are made out of what now?")

4. Eye roll. ("Now your tip is definitely going down.")

5. The salads come pre-made, but I can take off the croutons. ("Sigh...")

A good restaurant experience assures that Daryl and I will be back, while a bad one usually means I spend at least part of that day in bed--not a good risk to take. Usually it's easier just to stay home. Money is tight, so the risk of eating out and spending money when it may end in disaster is hard to muster sometimes. Still, every once in awhile the risk is necessary. We get stir-crazy or have a long week and need a little break. And then we venture forth into the world of restaurants with hope and fear. Sometimes it goes well. Sometimes not. I'm still learning.

Are any of you struggling with food issues or allergies? Does anyone have insight into how to make these restaurant/favorite food struggles a little easier?

I've not posted a good gf recipe in awhile, but I'll get back to that soon. My success test continues to be Daryl: if he'll eat what I've made and proclaim it "just as good!" or even, occasionally "even better!" than the regular gluten-y version, I consider it a success.

Hahaha... Glad to See This Isn't Just an Inevitability...

A breakdown of the dangers of "Mom Jeans" here.
Who knew that pocket placement was so crucial?

Thanks to Beauty Tips for Ministers for making us all a little bit better looking.

Snow Day

I've never seen snow like this. I grew up in Wisconsin and have lived in Illinois. I have family in Minnesota and Michigan. And I've never seen snow like this. It's snowed over a foot in 12 hours and it's still a whiteout outside. So what to do, when class and work are canceled and it's much too treacherous to leave the immediate area for activities? PLAY!!!

Thanks to Lana, who had the idea for a grand apartment complex snowman tour (there are probably fifteen different ones in our two-block area). As everyone who lives out here is a part of the seminary community, these are some crazily creative snow folks.

 

 The enormous snowman in my front yard built by my apartment neighbors. Almost a whole story tall! It's totally going to flood our basement in about a week when this all melts, but isn't it cute?

  

The back of the monstrous man of snow. 

  

The folks across the street took the challenge. This is them diligently working on an even bigger version of the one in my yard.  

  

The Leaning-Tower-of-Pisa version. 

  

The Wisconsin version (Badger and Packer apparel included!). 

  

The Pottery Barn version. It's hard to see in this photo, but this one even has a sculpted Casper-like face. Classy. 

  

The Tree-Hugger Snowman. Both twig arms wrapped around the tree. This one also sports an adorable cartoonish nose. 

  

Cambria and Lana Snowpeople. 

  

Our version. In all the seminary there was not one snow woman. We took it upon ourselves to remedy this. 

  

Isn't she lovely? We dubbed her Snowfia. Notice the tiara?

 By the end of our excursion the blizzard had started up again, so no doubt Snowfia will put on a few pounds before morning...

Thanks for sharing your photos, Kelly!

Unhappy Hipsters

We all knew they were unhappy, didn't we?

Unhappy Hipsters

(Thanks, Tonia!)

I Would Never Wear That (and other lies I've told)...

I recently purchased a pair of skinny jeans. Now, they're not über-skinny, it's-difficult-to-sit-down jeans, but they are cut pretty narrowly in the calves and have fairly small openings at the ankle. Two years ago they definitely fell into my "I would never wear that" category. Yet, phrases I utter that begin with "I would never" tend to come back to haunt me...

I've struggled this year with discerning what is appropriate pastor-wear and what isn't. Though I'm not in full-time ministry yet, I've served as a pastoral intern, a college chaplain, and a hospital chaplain, and each has had its own unspoken dress code. The college position was by far the easiest - jeans, fleeces, sweatshirts, pretty much whatever. When I was preaching I'd usually go for some khakis or a casual skirt, but nothing over the top. When the college ministry students would see me dressed up to teach (I taught on the same campus where I interned as a chaplain, and for that I'll often wear collared shirts, suits, or pressed dress pants), they would often do a double take.

At the hospital I learned that suits communicate power and stand-offishness, while softer things like sweaters made me more approachable. Have you ever hugged someone in a suit? I would always hug my dad when he came home from work in a suit, but it was always nicer to hug him fifteen minutes later when he was in a t-shirt and jeans. I found this summer that people really hesitate to cry on your shoulder if you're in a suit, even if you're standing by the hospital bed of their dying loved one, and even if the suit is a fairly cheap off-the-rack model from TJ Maxx.

There's a great blog called "Beauty Tips for Ministers" that's been helpful in this regard (thanks, Marie!). The author writes about what is appropriate for certain scenarios (from a freezing-cold internment -- you're going to need snow boots but they'd better be professional, to a roasting hot day at the beach -- cover-ups are your friend, but it's okay to swim with everyone else!) without running toward masculinization. Because this is tempting. Most of the pastors I've seen and worked with have been men, and for them it's awfully easy. They basically have three options: Suit, khakis and a top, or jeans and a top. As long as they steer clear from sandals and bermuda shorts, they always look good.

But what about us women in ministry? How much makeup is too much? How little makes it look like we're trying too hard to be "in the world but not of it"? What is appropriate to wear when we're off work? Do I have to give up my two-piece bathing suit days forever when I'm ordained, even if I'm vacationing in Florida? Are knee-high boots ridiculously distracting or polished and professional? What trends can I follow and which ones should I ignore?

Of course I want to be professional and modest, but I also don't want to be frumpy and boring, or to ignore any sense of style. My CPE supervisors were really helpful in this regard. They both hit a beautiful balance between being professional, being themselves, and staying feminine, and they gave us two basic rules: 1) No jeans. 2) Experiment and see what works. It was wonderful to be given the opportunity to try new things, while knowing that my fellow chaplains would help to guide me if I was wearing something out of line. Some of my fellow chaplains experimented with gusto; others seemed to already understand what worked best for them. I learned a great deal through trial and error (i.e. don't wear scarves, they can end up dangling over bad, infectious places...), but I'm still experimenting, and probably will be for awhile. I tend to be ultra conservative when it comes to things that may not be appropriate (leaving most of my dangling earrings stuck at home), which is definitely the right side to err on, but I also don't want to miss out on dressing like "me" for the next decades of my life. And I really don't want to dress older than I am... Plenty of time to dress like I'm 40 when I am. Any helpful tips, those of you serving in ministry? Any disaster stories I can learn from?

Anyway, back to things I will "never" do. Here are the things I have done in the past three years that I said I would "never" do:

1. Buy (and wear) skinny jeans.

2. Buy (and wear) knee-high boots.

3. Date/marry Daryl (this caused no end of amusement to my family when he and I first started dating... "But didn't you say...?")

4. Go to seminary to become a pastor.

5. Actually enjoy reading literary theory.

6. Actually enjoy eating the following: salmon, guacamole, Mexican food, and broccoli

7. Give up the following: bread, pastries, and any other gluten-filled foods

8. Enjoy working in a hosptial.

Some of these are signs of growth, others seem to be signs that God has a good sense of irony... This list also makes me quite afraid of what will happen on my current "I will never..." list:

1. Move back to New Jersey

2. Have more than two children

3. Wear leggings as pants (unless I'm running a marathon...)

Yikes.

What's on your list?

A Little Pick Me Up...

Hello friends,

I've been neglecting this blog lately for two reasons:

1. It's our short-term at Princeton, where students take an intensive three-week course. For various reasons I'm taking one three-credit course and another one-credit course, so my short-term is even more intensive than most.

2. After I dropped Daryl off at the airport for our second semester of geographical separation, quite a lot of wind went out of my sails. It was rough the first time, but it isn't any easier this time. I miss him, and I'm about ready to be done with this whole 1,000 miles apart thing...

I'll do my best to keep up with posting. If you miss my little updates, leave a comment telling me so, and I'll try to get back on the ol' blogging wagon more regularly.

So, since I am often in need of cheer these days, here's a bit of cheer for you.

First, American Idol's now-famous "Pants on the Ground" singer: here on YouTube.

Secondly, Wisconsin and Minnesota's much-beloved quarterback Brett Favre's take, after annihilating the Cowboys on Sunday: here.

Despite myself, I'm starting to become quite a football fan (at least late in the season, when things are more interesting). This definitely helped. :)

Home for the Holidays

Hello, friends,

Forgive the lengthy hiatus - I intended to update more while I was on winter break, but alas, I spent the majority of my time eating, sleeping, and playing the Settlers of Catan. So no updates, but I have returned to New Jersey a very rested Courtney.

Here are some photos from the trip home (with accompanying explanations):

It was Christmas. Santa came to our house, in the form of a small, 1 1/2 year old girl who had a serious fascination with cats.

 

Christmas Eve I sang in alto for our church service with my dad singing tenor and Caroline playing her viola. This was our whole crew, including Eric, our worship leader and pianist, who broke his hip only a few weeks earlier playing broomball. He played the whole service and all of the rehearsals - that's dedication!

Christmas morning! Matching pajamas are a family Christmas tradition. Cait and I each got a sewing basket from mom and dad to help us as we continue to learn how to sew.

 

Jared, Cait, and Aleah outside playing. Aleah LOVES the snow, even though she can't even put her arms down when she's all bundled up...

 

Christmas night we always drive up to the Simeones for an amazing dinner and games. We look forward to this all year long. This is me, Daryl, and Danny (who is so crazy grown up now I can hardly believe he used to spend hours building cardboard spaceships with my youngest sister, Caroline...) awaiting the feast.  The sign on the back wall reads "Sit Long. Talk Much. Laugh Often." That about summed up our wonderful night here.

 

The whole crew (minus my dad, who was taking the photo), including classic Simeone salad.

 

We also had an ugly sweater competition.  Ugly Sweater parties seem to be rising in popularity, as this was my second one of the season. Luckily Mom and Caroline had some to spare for Daryl and me. Aren't we a classy bunch? My mom's sweater won. It's hard to see in this photo, but it shows an entire mantle with stockings hanging from it. And it has shoulder pads. Rockin'.

 

The cutest little niece ever.

 

Yellow Birch Lake in winter. Didn't I grow up in a crazy-beautiful place?

 

Caroline is a budding photographer, and she took some photos of Daryl and I for our anniversary. We didn't have many good pictures of us since the wedding (three years ago! eep!), so this was a huge blessing. She's really talented!

 

 

 

That's all for now! More photos to follow when I get them. We also had a few great meals with Grandma and Grandpa, and my aunt, uncle, and cousins came up to visit from Chicago. All in all it was a really wonderful, fun, restful holiday.

What about you? How was your Christmas?

It's not even a game!

There will be a lot of short posts with funny links this week. Finals, and their connected insanity, are upon me for the next two weeks, and that's about all I've got in me...

Today, in honor of Daryl and to make you laugh, take a moment to remember that it's not even a game, it's just practice.

God bless uninhibited athletes and their ability to just say whatever.

Because we all need a laugh on Monday...

Having a case of the Mondays?

This might help.

A college comedian takes on Pachelbel's Canon, playing the cello as a kid, and the musical sameness of modern pop and rock... And it's hilarious.