Surprises

I love surprises.

No, that's not right.

I love, love, love, love, LOVE surprises. Yup. That about covers it.

I had a hard day at hospice last week. I came home exhausted and discouraged. Then I checked the mailbox. Not one, but TWO unexpected surprises!

A note from my dear, dear, dear friend Inga, along with a CD. On that CD were three songs from one of my favorite artists--Jake Armerding--who has a new album out that I hadn't even heard about. It was like musical manna from heaven.

A small package from my grandmother who lives in Michigan, containing two really good make-up brushes! The kind I would never, ever splurge on for myself! She had read my previous blog post and put them in the mail as a gesture of love.

After such a crummy, difficult day, I found myself sitting at the dining room table with these two beautiful gifts from two people I love so much, tearing up a little. "You knew I needed this today, didn't you, God?" I asked.

While I love surprises, I hate them, too. I love gifts, letters, concert tickets (thank you, Daryl!!!), unexpected trips. But I hate the unexpected turns life sometimes takes. As a child I once threw a screaming fit outside my preschool when Miss Cindy, my teacher, was absent. There was a substitute teacher in there and I was bound and determined not to have any part of that. Dad used to say that I'm not "good at hitting the curve ball." He's a sports metaphor kind of guy.

My life has been full of surprises lately, both the kind I love and the kind I hate.

I am leaving Nashville. I have moved nine times in ten years, and this will be my tenth move.

I am moving somewhere closer to home, and to do something new and exciting and joyful and challenging.

That's all I can say for now, but more news will be forthcoming.

I love the new possibilities of what is to come, but I hate that I'm leaving Nashville. I hate that this new turn of events means I'll be living apart from Daryl for a few months (again... I know...). I hate that I have to move again.

But I love the excitement of a life spent following Jesus. I love that I'll soon be doing what I feel called and gifted to do. I love that my life will soon be marked by some real stability and that Daryl and I will have the chance to put down some roots.

I'm headed north.

More soon...

Ten on Tuesday (Take Two)

The credit (again) for this idea goes to my friend Megan who is currently living it up in Edinburgh (I'm quite jealous of that, though I know the winter must be awfully long over there). She got the idea from her friend Kathleen who got it from someone else... Needless to say, this is not my original idea, nor is it hers, but it's fun, so I'm keeping it up. Also, today's list has 15 items, instead of the usual 10. I can't explain it, I'm just filling in the answers to lists made by the aforementioned women. Woot.

1. If you could change anything about your physical appearance, what would it be?
Wow. That's personal... Um... I've made a fair amount of peace with physical attributes I'm not crazy about. But I do miss those back and shoulder muscles I had when I used to rock climb four or five times a week. I still had them for our wedding, and they looked awesome. And bad-ass. But now they're only a nostalgic memory (as is the climbing, come to think of it).

You can almost see them in this picture... Gosh that was a great day!

I'd also like to be a couple of inches taller, but only if the top of my head could still nestle nicely under Daryl's chin when he hugs me. 'Cause that's the best.

2. Is there a habit in others that you find annoying?
I hate it when people can't say what they want, but want you to know what that is anyway and are grumpy if you don't do it. I am many things, but a mind reader isn't one of them. I had a roommate years ago who was continually mad at me, and I finally sat her down to ask why. "Well," she said huffily, "you're putting the dirty dishes in both sides of the sink, when one side is for clean dishes and the other is for dirty ones." Um... WHAT? It's fine to have this expectation about the sink, but unless you tell me, I assume that the drying rack is for clean dishes and the sink is for washing them. I hate the unspoken expectation, particularly because I'm usually quite willing to be accommodating if I only have some idea what it is a person wants. Grar.

3. What is your favorite recipe using ground beef?
I've found a great gluten-free beef stroganoff mix (thank you, Inga!). Yes, it's sad that it's a mix, but I'm new to the whole GF thing, so be patient. It's hugely high in fat, and thus, delicious. Also, Daryl makes amazing garlic-and-pepper burgers. Mmm.

4. What was your favorite book as a kid?
Narnia. And the Anne books. Both series were read to me by my paternal grandmother for hours upon hours while I played with Legos or drew pictures. That's still one of my all-time favorite childhood memories. When I reread either series now I almost hear Grandma's voice in my head, reading the words to me twenty years later.

5. Did you work as a teenager and if so, where?
My mom pointed out to me recently that I've pretty much always had a job. I've never really thought about it, but she's totally right, at least since my early teens. The list is as follows:

off-and-on beginning around 7th grade: occasional secretary-and-file-filer at my dad's State Farm office
8th grade summer: cabin cleaner at Zaugg's Resort
9th-10th grade summers: more regularly at State Farm
11th-12th grade summers: bar pianist at BJ's gourmet dining. This one rocked. I got ten bucks an hour plus some great tips. And I felt like Billy Joel. And I got to wear a fancy dress every Fri-Sat-Sun night.

6. Did you work while in college and if so, where?
Yes, indeed. During college I worked all of the following jobs (in no particular order, and not all at once):

* Bar pianist (BJ's)
* Rock Climbing Wall Staff (Wheaton College)
* Adventure Team Director - in charge of whitewater guiding, rock climbing, and managing a staff of 4-10 high school and college students (Silver Birch Ranch)
* Teaching Assistant (English department -Wheaton College - for David Wright who is still one of my favorite professors of all time)
* Editorial Intern (Rock and Ice Magazine)

7. When you go to sleep do you like total darkness or semi? When you go to sleep do you need quiet or is some noise ok?
Total darkness. Though I've recently purchased a bathroom nightlight because my cats wake me up if they can't find their litter box (which I cannot fathom - it's not like I move it on them...), and I've had quite enough of that.

8. When doing laundry, fabric softener or not?
No. I've never, ever used fabric softener. Also, Daryl does the laundry (when he's in town). Yeah. My husband rocks. Also, he does laundry MUCH better than I do (I tend to wash everything together... So bad!).

9. Open toed or closed toed shoes?
Cute shoes. And, as of recently, knee-high boots (see previous post)! That said, I've recently seen open-toed boots. What? WHY?!?!?! Sometimes I cannot explain the human race.

10. Would you rather be blind or deaf?
My inclination is to say deaf, so I can still see the world, but I've heard from deaf friends that being blind is better, because you can still be easily included in others' conversations. And life without music, or Daryl's voice, or hearing the rain? That would be horrible.

11. Dangle or stud earrings?
Both. Stud pearls for Presbytery meetings. Dangling ones for everything but teaching or preaching. Now that my hair's shorter, I like my earrings to fall below my hair.

12. Bottled water or tap?
I want to say tap. In Wisconsin I would say tap. In Chicago I happily drank tap. But I'm mortally afraid of the tap water in my 1950s apartment building. I know it has bacteria and mold and probably mouse-pieces in it. So I have a Brita AND I buy bottled water (no, I don't filter the bottled water - I just like to have options).

13. What do you put on pancakes?
Simeone pure maple syrup! It's amazing. Even if my mom believes it to be so precious that she practically made us put it on our pancakes with an eye dropper when we were kids. Especially after we all went up to help the Simeones gather sap and realized that a ridiculous amount of labor goes into that eye dropper full of syrup...

14. On a long trip would you rather drive or fly?
This year has started to make me hate flying. But I love that (when all goes well) I can actually be in Nashville in three hours to see the man I love. I generally prefer driving, though, unless I haven't seen Daryl in weeks. Then flying. Supersonic jet, if I can manage it.

15. Do you prefer classic old movies or new?
I prefer good ones. And often classic old ones are better than new ones, but not always. Sometimes classic old ones put me directly to sleep. I prefer movies that don't scare me, where hardly anything blows up, and that have a happy ending. Working in a hospital has made me despise really heart-wrenching movies. If I'm working in an environment full of grief and death, why on EARTH would I EVER want to watch something like Requiem for a Dream or Precious? Seriously? There's enough sadness in the world. Let the guy get the girl. Or at the very least, let the guy learn something from not getting the girl (like in 500 Days of Summer). That's all I ask.

Speaking of which, I just saw Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day and LOVED it. It's not always completely believable, but it's happy and entertaining and both Amy Adams and Francis McDormand are incredible. Good for a girls' night!

A Little Pick Me Up...

Hello friends,

I've been neglecting this blog lately for two reasons:

1. It's our short-term at Princeton, where students take an intensive three-week course. For various reasons I'm taking one three-credit course and another one-credit course, so my short-term is even more intensive than most.

2. After I dropped Daryl off at the airport for our second semester of geographical separation, quite a lot of wind went out of my sails. It was rough the first time, but it isn't any easier this time. I miss him, and I'm about ready to be done with this whole 1,000 miles apart thing...

I'll do my best to keep up with posting. If you miss my little updates, leave a comment telling me so, and I'll try to get back on the ol' blogging wagon more regularly.

So, since I am often in need of cheer these days, here's a bit of cheer for you.

First, American Idol's now-famous "Pants on the Ground" singer: here on YouTube.

Secondly, Wisconsin and Minnesota's much-beloved quarterback Brett Favre's take, after annihilating the Cowboys on Sunday: here.

Despite myself, I'm starting to become quite a football fan (at least late in the season, when things are more interesting). This definitely helped. :)

Worship

I’m currently taking a Presbyterian Worship course taught by Dave Davis, the pastor of Nassau Presbyterian Church. In the first class, he brought up the question (as all good intro courses will) of the subject itself. What is worship?

To help answer this question, he showed this video: Click here.

Watch the whole thing, if you can. It’s just five minutes long. It actually gave me chills by the end. Apparently it’s from a documentary project about music, community, and peace.

Its connections to worship are many. The one I love the best (that actually wasn’t even mentioned in class) is the idea of our worship as joining a song that is already going on. When the first man begins playing and singing, he is alone. But slowly more and more people join the song that he started. In our worship, whether it is private or corporate, we do not begin the song. It is already playing all over the world. Men, women, and children, the whole earth, the angels of heaven, are already singing, and we simply add our voice of praise to theirs. We are not alone in our worship not only because God hears and responds, but because the universe is dedicated to the worship of God.

Dr. Davis made the point that this video helps illustrate worship because we all need one another for worship. We need others to “stand by us” and bolster us in our worship of God, for we are weak and changeable people. “There are some weeks you’ll drag yourself to worship and not even be able to sing,” he said, “but the person next to you will sing for you.”

This reminds me of some wisdom my college roommate Kelsey offered to me back when I was in undergrad. I was only twenty, and I was sitting in our room crying about some boy or other. She found me there, on my bed, and came to sit down next to me.

“What’s going on?” she asked. 

“Oh, nothing,” I said. “God and I have some things to work out.”

“Would you tell me about it?” she asked, kindly. “You don’t have to handle it all by yourself. Sometimes we all need a prayer that is stronger than our own.”

This is one of the great beauties of the Christian life. Yes, we are each individually called to follow the Lord. Yes, our obedience and response to Christ’s call is a personal decision and responsibility. Yet, we simply cannot go it alone. We aren’t designed to. We aren’t built to. And, mercifully, we aren’t required to. The Christian life is by nature a life lived in community. We serve a communal God—three persons within Godself. We serve a God who reaches out to us to be in relationship with us even as we are in relationship with one another. And often, each of us needs a prayer that is stronger or different than our own.

I’m excited about this course on worship, despite being a touch cranky that I am required to take it (I’ve already passed my Worship Ordination Exam, making this course a tad bit redundant). Still, I’m learning that my Presbytery does indeed have my good and the good of the church in mind, and I’m trying to have an open mind and heart during this short course. And, really, if I am going into the pastorate, reinforcing the theology of Presbyterian Worship one more time before I head in for my final review is quite a good idea indeed.

Dr. Davis also said something that made me think twice about those Sundays where I sleep in. I go to a church 45 minutes away, which is quite a drive on a wintry Sunday morning when Daryl is far away in Nashville. Listening to a sermon on the radio is tempting. Sleeping in until 2pm is very tempting. But, as Dr. Davis rightly noted (this is my paraphrase): True worship requires the understanding that worship is not about us. It’s about God and God’s people. Some weeks, the person next to you will not have the strength to pray. If you’re not there, you’re missed not necessarily because your presence was missed, but because you were needed that day. Worship is the work of the people of God.

Piano Dancing

Hello friends,

Well, two papers down and two more to finish up. There's beginning to be a light at the end of the tunnel, though it's quite faint.

So, for today, a simple video from my sister Cait to put a smile on your face. Nothing like music and exercise at the same time!

Bach on the Big Piano.

Christmas on the Radio

Every December I become inordinately excited to listen to Christmas music again. I resist it all fall, but come December 1, it is on. I used to just turn on the radio and enjoy the abundance of Christmas-ness it provided. However, with the secularization of Christmas culture in America, this has turned out to be a huge bummer during the past few years.

Gone are the songs about any spiritual or Jesus-centered aspect of Christmas. The top ten songs on the Christmas-y radio stations around here seem to be:

1. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus (gross, if you think about it)
2. Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer (um... sure...)
3. Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree (woo hoo...)
4. Jingle Bell Rock (since when is Christmas about "rockin' the night away?" also - the movie "Mean Girls" has ruined this song for me forever)
5. White Christmas (probably the best of the bunch)
6. Santa Baby (ew. just... ew.)
7. That stupid Hawaiian Christmas song (I'm in NEW JERSEY for pete's sake!)
8. I'll be Home for Christmas (depressing)
9. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (all I can hear in my head are the little asides all youth group kids know to this song - "Like a light bulb!" "Like Pinnochio!" "Like Monopoly!")
10. Blue Christmas (what is the obsession with sexualizing Christmas? and Santa? good heavens...)

Lucky for all of us, there's Pandora. This has become the fuel for my Christmas music obsession. If you haven't heard of it, just click on this link.

Pandora lets you select a song or artist you like and plays you songs that fit within that theme. And it's free! As far as Christmas stations go, their "classical" Christmas is quite good (though heavy on the "Good King Wenceslas" for whatever reason). Lots of Silent Night and Holy Night and Joy to the World and all the  good stuff. For a better sing-a-long selection, I like Jar's of Clay's "Little Drummer Boy" station or Sufjan Stevens' Christmas.

Anyway, Merry early Christmas. And don't let your radio stations scam you out of singing to Jesus in celebration!

Because we all need a laugh on Monday...

Having a case of the Mondays?

This might help.

A college comedian takes on Pachelbel's Canon, playing the cello as a kid, and the musical sameness of modern pop and rock... And it's hilarious.