Observations on Tennessee

Since I've now lived in Tennessee for eight days, I am an expert on Tennessee. No, really.

Actually I just wanted to share some observations from my first week here (much of which has been spent unpacking and running move-in errands to Target and Home Depot...). After I've been here months or years, they will surely change. There's nothing quite like the culture shock of the first week in a new place.

This list is not meant to communicate anything snide (such as: Tennessee is silly) or stereotypical (such as: people in the south are all ____), it's merely a list of observations gleaned from the past eight days.

1. People seem much more polite in Tennessee than in any state I've ever lived in.
This is, frankly, kind of unnerving after living in New Jersey. I'm torn between wanting to hug them ("Thank you for being NICE to me!") and wanting to check to make sure my wallet's still there.

2. The culture is more explicitly Christian than in the northeast or midwest.
There were Bible verses on the artwork on the walls of the hospital in town (don't worry - I was there for a meeting, not because I caught something terrible). There are about six decent Christian radio stations in town (SIX?!?!). Businesses often play these stations. It's just assumed that you go to church. We do go to church, but it's still odd when it's assumed.

3. It's legal to talk on the phone/text while driving. This is a terrible idea.
Many of the good folks of NJ are bad drivers. Very aggressive, very angry, very much in an utter hurry all the time. The folks in TN seem to be better drivers when they aren't on the phone. They seem to be on the phone a lot. I almost got mowed down in the Kroger parking lot by a soccer mom twenty minutes ago.

The Jersey girl in me muttered, not very charitably, "Thanks for almost killing me! Hope that phone call was REALLY IMPORTANT!" I'm going to need to stop doing that here.

4. The spirit of Tennessee seems to be, "It's really hot, but we'll do everything we would normally do even if it's 100 degrees outside."
People are washing the windows of a skyscraper in town today. It's 89 degrees out (with 217% humidity), and it isn't even noon. An elderly gentleman came by last week to mow our lawn - apparently he's contracted with our landlady - and we were utterly appalled. It was about 98 outside. We brought him a bottle of cold water and he kindly waved us off.

"I'm fine," he said. "This is normal." On the surface of the sun, maybe.

5. People talk about church like it's the weather.
Daryl and I went out to dinner a couple of days ago, and the waiter (who was a hipster British guy with messed up hair and an air of utter cool about him) found out we were new to the area and asked us if we'd found a church yet. Um... what? We appreciated his input, but it was so odd to have someone in the service industry just assume that we went to church. It was his third question after "where are you from" and "do you like Nashville." Odd indeed.

6. Sundresses are the thing to wear if you're a 20-something woman.
Seriously. When I wear shorts or pants out I feel very out of place. It's one way to beat the heat, I guess!


7. People in the service industry expect a greeting and a little bit of conversation before engaging in a business transaction.
I went into a meeting today all businesslike (as I've been trained in the northeast), and the receptionist responded with, "Good morning."

Taken aback, I responded in kind.

"How are you this morning?" she asked.

"Um, good?" I responded. "Can I--"

"It's a beautiful day," she said. By this point I was starting to understand the drill.

"Yes it is!" I said. "And how are you?"

After another thirty seconds of banter she helped me with what I was after. It reminds me of when my family traveled to France a decade ago and my dad kept getting reprimanded by salesclerks for his brusque, American manner.

"I'd like a--" he'd begin.

"Bonjour," they'd say, firmly.

"Right," he'd say. "I'd like a--"

"BONJOUR," they'd say again.

"Oh," he'd say, finally understanding. "Bonjour."

"What would you like?" they'd respond.

I'm going to have to relearn some social cues around these parts.


8. It's freaking hot here.
Oh my goodness. Daryl and I tried to be brave and go to the Nashville zoo (the zoo is one of my favorite, favorite things to do), and we only lasted an hour. We each drank a full water bottle and a soda, and we only lasted an hour. We melted into puddles of sweat and both came home with headaches. This will take some getting used to... Or else I'll stay inside until November. Either way.


9. It's the south. There will be bugs.
My word are there bugs. We live in the city, so we have it better than most country folks in this regard, but STILL... God bless the swallows and mourning doves that have built nests around our garage. They spend most of the day hopping around our front yard swallowing things. I want to truck in about fifty more of them.


10. I like it here.
I really do.

Ten on Moving-In Day

As soon as I can find my camera cord (ah, the joys of moving), there will be many, many photos to share, both from the summer and from our new home city.

For now, with our home in fairly serious disarray (Daryl and I walk around going, "Where's my... Where's my...") and with small mountains of boxes still to unpack, we'll all have to settle for a "Ten on Tuesday"-style post. Bear with me, friends. I'm still looking for my socks...

1. What's your favorite thing about your new home?

Everything. No, really... I love, love, love, love, LOVE our new home. It's cute and charming and affordable and in a great location. By great location, I mean both not-in-New-Jersey and in a wonderful part of town that's within walking distance of half a dozen great locations.

I love the setup of the townhome - bedrooms upstairs, living/dining/kitchen downstairs.

I love all the sunlight we get, and that we can see the sunset from our front windows.

I love that Daryl and I live here together, like normal married folks are supposed to do.

I LOVE that we have a washer and dryer, and that said washer and dryer are not located in a moldy, spider-infested, continually-flooded basement. I don't have to save quarters, nor do I have to wear my hiking boots to avoid stepping in ankle-deep puddles. Glory be.

God has really blessed us in finding this new place, and I'm super grateful. After looking online for nearly a month, we had a list of "these-might-be-okay" places. My friend Megan (thank you, Megan!!!) gave me the advice to just drive around close to Daryl's school to see what we found. We sat in the car, prayed for guidance and wisdom, and drove straight to this place. I love it when God answers prayers in under a minute. It's rare, but I love it!

2. What has surprised you most about this move?

How much easier unloading is than loading. It took us two days to load up, and about three hours to unload. When we loaded our POD we had to carry everything around the building and up a hill in the backyard. Yuck. The bigger furniture had to go over the balcony railing. It was not fun for anyone, particularly Daryl and my Dad who did about 99% of the work, poor guys.

 Loading up:

Unloading:

Yes, I'm kidding. It wasn't quite as easy as a beach vacation. But... it was pretty easy. A million thanks to our Nashville-area friends Jacob, Ted, and Sean for helping with the heavy stuff. You guys rock.

3. What's your least favorite thing about your new home?

As I was unloading our dishes, I suddenly realized that there is not a single drawer in the kitchen. No drawers! I hadn't thought to look at this when we toured the house, because I've never been in a house without kitchen drawers. Where are we going to put the silverware? In mason jars? In some sort of caddy? In the pantry? To be determined...


4. What is the funniest fight you and your spouse have gotten into regarding this move?

We needed a little corner cabinet or shelving unit in the dining room (probably to hold the silverware, of all things...). We looked online and went back and forth about how much we could afford and whether we should buy something, etc., etc., etc. Daryl wanted something dark wood that would match the other furniture. I wanted a cute cottage-y white cabinet. We both got grumpy. Then we looked over to a pile of boxes on the other side of the room.

"Hey," I said. "What about that shelf we have right there?"

We had forgotten that we had a corner shelf, in our three months of moving madness.

"Well, that would work," he said.

Problem solved. Husband and wife = sheepishly friends again.

5. How do you like your new home town?

I LOVE Nashville. Love it. Love it.

I wish it was a little bit less hot... Maybe 90 instead of 98? But other than that I adore it. And I suppose the greenhouse-like heat and humidity are what cause all of these gorgeous flowers to thrive over on the university campus.

6. What are you most worried about in your new home?

Spiders. I know, that's kind of pathetic, and I haven't seen a single one yet, though I've poked around in all the closets and under all of the cabinets. But I know it's just a matter of time, since we live in the buggy south and all.

I woke Daryl up two nights ago yelling, "Get it off of me! Get it off!" and flipping back the covers of our bed.

He turned on the light switch and said, "Get WHAT off?"

"The spider... centipede... bug... thing..." I said, sleepily. That's when he knew I was dreaming.

"Great," he thought. "Now my wife is wanting me to kill imaginary bugs even in her sleep. Fantastic."

I'm not afraid of much. Tornadoes? No problem. Living in poverty? Come on, I went to graduate school twice. Grizzly bears? Leave them alone and they'll leave you alone. Tiny spiders? No problem. BIG spiders? Kill me now.

My northwoods mother is SO disappointed that she raised such a spider-phobic daughter. This summer I watched her grab big spiders by a leg and fling them off our deck railing. Um, YUCK! I don't have that level of poise and control. Sorry, mom. But you are pretty awesome.

This sums up my spider fear pretty perfectly.

(Thanks, hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com!)

7. When are you going back to work, again?

August 30. My birthday will also be my first day of work. Have I mentioned that I'll be working as a hospital/hospice chaplain this year? I'll be doing a CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) residency year (a year of advanced chaplaincy training) through a Nashville hospital and hospice program.

I'm looking forward to getting back to all the challenges, joys, and difficulties of chaplaincy. It's an incredible privilege to spend the final months/weeks/days of a person's life with them and with their family. There's really nothing quite like it.

It's also a field where I get to use all my ministerial skills, and one that continues to push me to grow as a minister and as a person. CPE has an educational component as well, which I love. It'd be hard for me to go from full-time student status to full-time-work-with-no-educational-component status.

Two weeks until Chaplain Courtney returns!


8. Why did you choose this new spot to live?

Daryl goes to school here. We moved to Princeton for me (though it ended up being a great move for him, as he eventually decided to do an M.Div. there as well), and now we've moved to Nashville for him. Also, have I mentioned that Nashville is awesome? It's awesome.


9. What has surprised you most about your new home?

How many friends and family are coming to visit! We had some great visitors in Princeton, but the most surprising thing to me was that as soon as we mentioned we were moving to Nashville, we were deluged with requests to visit.  Apparently visiting in New Jersey is just not quite as fun/cool/convenient/friendly as visiting in Nashville.

I'm 1,000% excited about having more visitors and being closer and more convenient to those we love. Come visit us, friends!

10. Who are you most looking forward to having visit your new home?

Um, everyone. Seriously. My family, Daryl's family, my friends from seminary, my friends from home, Daryl's friends from home, our friends from Nashville. Come! Come for dinner or games or just to hang out. If you're from out of town, we (for the first time in our married life!) have a guest room! In two weeks we'll even have a guest bed! So you should probably wait two weeks. But then come!

Also, have I mentioned that Nashville is awesome? We have all the music you can stand, pro sports teams, great hiking trails, and all the gluten-free options a person could want (though this probably appeals more to me than to most of you). We also have two fat and happy cats who like to sleep on visitors faces. They'd be happy to sleep on yours.

Apartment Hunting

Daryl and I are in search of a new home. One that is not in New Jersey (woot!). One that is close both to his school and to the hospital where I'll be working.

I have an utter love/hate relationship with apartment/house hunting.

One the one hand, I love it. It's exciting to dream and explore, to decide what is most important to us for the next phase of life, to plan on making a home home. I get excited about how we'll arrange things, what spots the cats will find in which to snuggle up, what our view will look like.

One the other hand, it can be very discouraging. I found one apartment complex I loved (seemingly safe, affordable, close to what we need it to be close to, with nice floor plans) and then read some reviews.

"I loved living here, until the shooting."

Eep.

Others warn of brown recluse infestations. Um, excuse me? If I see one poisonous spider, we are moving OUT. Is that just an innocent northern thing to say? (Probably).

Another review of a hopeful place: "Live here if you love mold!"

Yuck.

As two-former (and one current) grad. students, we don't have an unlimited budget, which, of course, limits us from just plunking down our Black AmEx card at the Grand Hotel and asking for room service. We don't need anything fancy, just a place to call home. Preferably one where we can paint the walls and decorate it to look like home (and not like an institution, as our previous white-walled seminary apartment could look at times). I would also like to do laundry in my own apartment, not in a mold-infested basement as I have been doing for the past three years. When Daryl and I moved out in May most of the stuff in our basement storage unit was moldy and needed to be thrown in the trash. And I did my laundry down there for three years. SO gross. Though I may be willing to budge on having our own washer and dryer and just use a community laundry room if it is not infested with mold. Maybe.

One of the trickiest parts of this process is that we're up in Wisconsin right now, hanging with family, so we can't easily drive by and check places out. We're planning a foray down to Nash-Vegas in a couple of weeks to see places in person, though. That seems to be the only way to know for sure if a place is truly livable.

Top three things I want in an apartment or rental home?

1. Safety. I want to be able to walk from the car to the apartment at midnight without looking over my shoulder and/or running.
2. A guest room for friends.
3. No poisonous insects/spiders/pests. I don't mind the occasional bout of ants or ladybugs (I grew up in the woods!), but I draw the line at things that could actually make me, my dear husband, or one of my cats lose an appendage and/or die.

Daryl's top three:

1. Light. Lots and lots of light. (He's from California. He can't help himself.)
2. Something newer or cute and vintage.
3. Something affordable so that we can pay off loans/save some money.

Any other things we should put on at the top of our lists? Anyone have a beautiful, new, insect-free, place we should take a look at, or an apartment complex in Nashville that they've loved? Class? Class? Bueller?

Gratitude

I'm back! As promised! Welcome to June, friends.

I have lots of updates to... update. Taking finals, vacation, moving, driving across the country, graduation, saying goodbye, starting a new chapter of life, leaving NJ (!), moving back in with my husband permanently, heading to Wisconsin for the summer. Before I get into all that (which I will, soon!), I wanted to begin with what has been at the forefront of my mind for the past month: gratitude.

This has been a crazy-difficult season of life. From being apart from Daryl to finishing my degree in Princeton to working to moving, Daryl and I have both been quite exhausted. During our most recent long drive (24 hours from Princeton to Eagle River, WI), we talked about what has gotten us through this season. People. Our dear, dear family and friends who have sacrificed, loved on us, cared for us, and blessed us. Without them, we would have probably fallen to pieces at some juncture along this long, long road. What am I grateful for at the end of this month of May?

1. A family who loves me and often knows what Daryl and I need before we ask. My parents took us on the most restful vacation of my life (a cruise! to Mexico! with special gf food!), and then came back to Princeton where my Dad and Daryl proceeded to carry every heavy thing from our apartment into the moving POD. And then they filled up our fridge. And then they let us come to WI for a couple of months to have a real summer of lake-swimming, grilling out, and craft projects. Does life get better? I submit that it does not!

2. Friends who sheltered Daryl for the past nine months. How do you thank people who you'd never even met before this August who invite your husband into their home for the year? And cook him dinner when he's losing his mind during final exams? And become dear friends? You can't... There's no language of thanks big enough for that.

3. A friend who loaned us her car for the year. Her fun, practical, cool, sunroof-equipped car. We didn't have to buy or rent a second car (read: crazy expensive for cash-strapped graduate students!). Again, how do you begin to thank someone for this?

4. Friends from Princeton. Saying goodbye was hard. These friends have brought us food and smoothies, provided incredible and insightful conversation partners, challenged us to live out our faith, and helped us with the little finishing touches of moving (Daryl carried out our last three heavy pieces of furniture assisted by three different friends, all of whom dropped everything the moment they heard we needed a bit of heavy lifting help).

5. Friends from home. It feels so good to be headed toward a summer surrounded by friends (and family!) from home. We never have enough time to visit, catch up, celebrate, and hang out. And perhaps this summer we will. Or at least, we'll have a little bit more.

6. Friends and family from CA. When we were in town we stayed with some dear, dear friends and their cute little chinchilla, Rudy. We made it to the Mother's Day celebration brunch for Daryl's dear grandma and saw almost all of the rest of his family. We had a great dinner with his mom. We visited some other dear friends, even though we were only in town for a short while. We went to Disneyland for free. You really can't beat that.

6. The little things. My final trip to the dentist in NY yielded no cavities. (If you know me well you know that's actually more of a BIG thing than a little thing). Disneyland makes gluten-free EVERYTHING for the same price as the normal stuff. I won an unexpected award at Princeton that led to a surprising check from the seminary that helped us a great deal with our move. I finally got around to getting a Princeton Public Library card and loaded up with books on tape for our long drive. Iron Man 2 was better than expected. The cats stayed healthy. There happened to be a yard sale the same day I realized we had left my old bike out of our POD (and the POD was picked up!), so I sold it for $30 in less than an hour. The little things have been so wonderful.

7. Our great God. I've said this before, but in one of her books Anne Lamott comments that her two most often-used prayers are "Help me, help me, help me" and "Thank you, thank you, thank you." I have said both of these many, many, MANY times in the past month. And Jesus is always there. And when I don't have an ounce left of strength, he provides. And when I'm at the end of my rope, he helps me hang on. And when finals threaten to make me go crazy or the distance from Daryl threatened to make me fall apart, he cared for me. The toughest seasons are often the ones of closest fellowship with the Father, and I've felt that this season. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

More to come (including LOTS of photos)! Thanks for your patience with me this May. There is lots of blogging to come this summer.

Happy June 1. Happy summer. Happy end to a season of running, running, running. As I write this the breeze off of Yellow Birch Lake is coming in my window, ruffling my hair. The cats are sitting on the window ledge watching the trees. Daryl is upstairs eating cereal and I am just about to head to breakfast. It's 10am.

Summer rocks.

Countdown to Leaving Seminary... Top Ten Favorite Memories: 4

7. Trips to New York City.

I hate New York City. I really do. It's loud and expensive, and though it's only about an hour away, by the time I get there I'm always tired and nearly ready to go home. That doesn't make me sound very cool, I know. The truth is that I'm not, nor will I ever be, cool. So if you were thinking you were reading a cool person's blog, you should probably go elsewhere. Like to Unhappy Hipsters dot com.

Regardless of my inherent dislike for the city of yellow cabs, I've had some very memorable and hilarious experiences in NYC. For example:

The time my sister Caitlyn and I got stuck on a broken subway and then hopelessly lost, after which we speed-walked through Chinatown at dusk and ended up in a really creepy neighbrorhood. One of the highlights of this visit was the crusty old man we passed on our fast walk who was standing at the doorway of a dimly lit alley "store" with a handpainted sign reading "STUFF." When we hurried past him he started cursing loudly at us for not wanting to check out the merchandise. Eep.

The time I was riding the subway with my parents and telling them about this Mariachi band I encountered on the subway months earlier, and just as I mentioned it the SAME Mariachi band came into our subway car (I recognized the lead dude's crazy mustache). What are the odds?

The time Cait and I ran into Jude Law and she chased him down the sidewalk in her sundress and Chacos while holding a leaky jar of pesto sauce from the farmer's market in a bag she sweet-talked out of a lady who worked at the Body Shop.

 The time I stumbled into the MTV music video awards and got some eye rolls from scantily clad teenage girls when I asked what was going on. See? I told you I wasn't cool.

The time Daryl and I walked with our friend Steven through Central Park right before Steven flew overseas to start his new job in Indonesia. We talked about giving up everything to follow the call of God to seminary or Indonesia. Then I ate a snow cone.

The time I went to NYC with my mom, Daryl, and my sister Caroline and it was so utterly freezing cold that we had to snuggle together at every possible opportunity.

The time my friend Katie talked me into seeing a Broadway show because hey, we're so close to NYC and we're both graduating, and even though neither one of us can really afford it, sometimes you just have to do these things. This last one is happening on Sunday. Yay!


Ah, NYC. I say I don't like you, but clearly I do... at least a little.

Countdown to Leaving Seminary... Top Ten Favorite Memories: 3

8. The Christmas tree.

Our first year of seminary, Daryl and I decided not to decorate for Christmas. It was our first married Christmas, so we didn't have any decorations yet, much less any money to buy any. We were madly writing papers (and this was before Princeton changed its curriculum so that finals were before Christmas!), Daryl was taking an overload of credits, I was teaching two classes, and we were just too busy. Besides, we would be leaving on December 21 to travel home to Wisconsin, where we'd visit my family who would have decorated the house like crazy.

After we had mutually decided this, I was inwardly really sad. We didn't have the money for a tree or decorations, really, and it was the wise decision, but I LOVE Christmas. I listen to Christmas music year-round, I love it so much. Still, I was determined to keep a stiff upper lip and not let on that I was sad. After all, we were on a budget. We really didn't have time. Seminary meant sacrifice, and I could do without ornaments or wreaths for a year or two (or three).

One night, a week or so later, Daryl went out to buy groceries. About half an hour later, there was a knock at the door. Odd, since I wasn't expecting anyone. I went to the door and found Daryl, who asked, "Can you help me with this?"

Behind him was an enormous, six-foot tall Christmas tree.

I've hardly ever felt so loved.

Countdown to Leaving Seminary... Top Ten Favorite Memories: 2

9. President Torrance asking me if I'm a professional actor.

To his (great) credit, President Torrance always comes to see the spring play. I'll admit I got a touch more nervous when I saw him sitting there in the top row of the Friday night show.

After the performance he  came up to congratulate the actors, shook my hand, and asked, quite kindly, in his softspoken Scottish way, "Are you a professional, then?"

Ahahaha... No. But thanks for asking - you made my night!

Countdown to Leaving Seminary... Top Ten Favorite Memories: 1

Because I leave seminary in just a few short weeks (!), I've been thinking about my time here, about what I've learned, what I've loved, and what I've experienced. For the next ten days I'm going to post a memory a day from my time at PTS.

In no particular order, we begin...

10. Moving in.
Daryl and his two wonderful, dear friends Steven and Chris loaded up our Penske truck in Wheaton, Illinois, and drove across the country (I had come out early to start work and was already in Princeton living with an air mattress, a cat, and a folding chair. It was cheery). We had NO idea how much work it would be to move, and though we didn’t have much stuff, our truck was filled to the brim with furniture and boxes. It was August in Princeton, and it was at least ninety degrees out. Chris, Daryl, and I went to sleep that night in our empty apartment weary already at the prospect of unloading it all the next morning (Steven had to fly back early).

When we awoke and began to unload, we were met with half a dozen Wheaton alums (and a few spouses) who had heard of our plight and had come to help. Peter, Travis, James, Nicole, and Matt dropped everything to get hot and sweaty carrying our boxes. Our stuff. Peter’s wife Megan was ill and couldn’t come, but sent cookies.

Moving in took only an hour, and when we were done we ate popcicles and talked about the year to come. I couldn’t believe these people—some of whom I had never even met—had given their mornings to us.

Reflections as I Plan to Live (Once Again) with my Husband: Part 3

This was us in August, saying goodbye.

The difficulties. Ah, the difficulties.

I'm not in the mood to whine and rant (and, really, that's not all that Christian when it comes right down to it). It has been a difficult year, yes. But I'm not going to write a long post about how hard and miserable it's been to be apart. Those who have done it know that it is both hard and miserable at times. Those who haven't had to do it I hope never will.

What I am going to share are a few short examples of moments when we both realized how much we need and value each other, and how much easier life is when we're together.

Thus: Part III - the difficulties of spending nine months apart from my husband.

1. The car battery incident.
I had forgotten what it was like to not have someone you could depend on to drop everything and help out at a moment's notice. There have been rare occasions when Daryl and I have pulled one another out of meetings or left work to care for one another in an emergency. The time I stepped on a glass lantern (long story, that one) and he had to carry me to the car and then into the urgent care to have my foot stitched up. The times he left his packed lunch on the counter and I brought it to him at school. This year, with a faraway husband, I just had to make do. He would help if he could, certainly, but from a thousand miles away he couldn't always do much.


One chilly winter day my car battery died in our parking lot. No big deal, I thought. I'll just jump it! I called a friend who happened to be home and she came out and we jumped it. Yup, two women jumped a car with no problem. We felt pretty proud of ourselves.

I let it run for awhile, and then drove to the grocery store a few miles away. You probably know where the story goes from here, but the battery died again. If you know me, you know that I know next to nothing about cars. Put gas in, change the oil, and it should work fine, right? Now I wasn't sure what to do. What if I got stranded? What if that friend wasn't home? It was the middle of the day and almost everyone I knew was at work or in class. It was cold. Should I hang out in the grocery store, wandering the aisles for hours? Should I walk home on the shoulder of the highway in the cold? I panicked. Called Daryl - no answer. He was in class. Even if I had gotten through, what could he have done? Called my Dad (an equally unhelpful idea, as he lives in Wisconsin, but in the moment it seemed like the next best option). He told me to go to the Pep Boys to get the battery looked at when I could get it jumped.

It surprised me how frazzled I felt. There was no significant crisis - I wasn't lost in the wilderness in sub-zero temperatures. I was at the grocery store. Worst case scenario I could buy myself a bottle of juice and read the magazines until my rescue came. Or I could be brave and ask a random person for a jump. But the fact that my usual knight-in-shining-armor was far away was unsettling. Sure, this was just a car battery. But what if I broke my leg? Would I crawl to the neighbor's apartment for help? Things weren't disastrous, certainly, but they were suddenly darned inconvenient.

After a few moments of these new thoughts swirling in my brain, I finally got smart and called the same friend who had jumped me half an hour before. She was home. She jumped the car and I drove it straight to the Pep Boys and walked home. 

2. The (lack of) laundry folding.
Daryl hates folding laundry. Hates it. With a burning passion. This year Daryl just wears wrinkly shirts. He misses me. One of his favorite things to hear when I visit is, "Do you want me to fold that pile of clean laundry?" For that question I always get a hug and a shy, "Well... I wouldn't mind it..."

You see, I have to fold and put away the laundry right away at our Princeton apartment, or you-know-who finds it...

3. The painters coming early.
There were several instances this year where I longed for a husband at home to take care of an awkward situation. One was when our ceiling developed a serious leak and needed to be fixed and repainted. The painters stopped by the afternoon before and told me they'd be there between 9:00am and noon.

I am NOT a morning person. Most of my classes start at ten in the morning or later. Still, no matter. If they might arrive at nine, I would certainly be out by ten till. I got up early in order to leave the house before the painters might arrive. At 8:30, there was a knock on the door. I was in a towel with dripping wet hair. I looked through the peep hole only to see three workmen with painting equipment standing in the hallway. Boy, would I have liked Daryl to field that one... Instead I shouted an awkward - "I'll be ready in a minute!" and frantically dressed and ran out the door five minutes later, dripping wet hair and all.

4. He's my husband and yes, I'm being selfish with him.
One of the things we knew would be tough this year was that people like Daryl. Specifically, his Princeton friends like him. He has a wonderful cadre of friends at the seminary. The trouble was that he was usually only in town for two or three days a month. Sometimes I had to learn to share those precious hours. Sometimes we had to politely decline invitations. It was interesting to learn the balance between caring for our marriage (we need us time!) and loving our friends and letting them love us.

Once Daryl's friends John and Matt had picked him up at the airport and driven him to Princeton while I was at play practice. They spent a couple of hours together, and Daryl had a really wonderful time. On our return trip to the airport that Sunday, Daryl reflected on their time.

"I'm so glad I came to town this weekend," he said. "I had such a great visit with John and Matt." There was a moment's pause, and then he looked over at me sheepishly. "And with you, of course."

No worries, love. I know you enjoy your man-friends.

5. The "we're separated" conversations.
This was how I often mistakenly described our situation. Then I got looks of sympathy/disapproval/sadness/confusion/judgment/disappointment. Then I would quickly correct myself: "Oh, no, our marriage is fine! Really! It's fine! We're geographically separated..." Awkward, awkward, awkward.

6. Daryl's serious addiction to the West Wing.
We've both found that creating and sticking to routines have helped us this year. When I get stressed, I do puzzles (doesn't make a lot of sense, but it really helps). When Daryl has trouble falling asleep, he watches an episode of The West Wing as he nods off. This has become part of his routine. We've both been through the series a couple of times, but now he quotes lines in conversations regularly. Without being able to fall asleep next to me, he's taken to falling asleep with Josh (Bradley Whitford), Toby (Richard Schiff), Leo (John Spencer), CJ (Allison Janney), Donna (Janelle Moloney), and Sam (Rob Lowe). This isn't a difficulty, per say, though I'm committed to not sharing our bed with the entire Hollywood cast come May...

7. The sick-and-dying cat.
Oh, Eliot, how we love you. Thank you for not dying. No thanks for giving me a couple weeks of utter hell. But it was worth it to keep you alive, silly silly cat.

8. I forgot...
I spent a summer during high school working for a Christian camp in Jackson, Wyoming. At the end of camp, the friends I'd worked with wrote notes in the back of my journal as a keepsake. Several of them mentioned what had become my catchphrase over the summer: "Where's my [fill in the blank]?"

I have lost things this year. I lose things. I'm not disorganized, per se, I just forget to double check sometimes. Daryl is my double-checker. He actually gets down on his hands and knees and looks under hotel beds. He looks in drawers. He checks underneath restaurant tables. I do not do these things. When we're together, I'm golden. When we're not, I'm in a bit of trouble.

Even this past weekend, which I spent in Nashville with Daryl, I was reminded of how much God must love me to find me a man who double-checks. Daryl took me to "Fiddlecakes," a gf bakery in Nashville. There I bought a cinnamon roll (a cinnamon roll! I have been craving these for NINE MONTHS!!!) which I devoured immediately, and a chocolate cupcake. At most gf bakeries there are no prices listed (Fiddlecakes was no exception). The reason for this is that us gf-ers will pay pretty much anything for a decent and safe pastry that we didn't have to bake ourselves. So this chocolate cupcake was like gold - not because it was exorbitantly priced, but because it was so terribly exciting.

We went to Panera to work on our final papers, and sat in the outside patio area in the beautiful Nashville sun. I put the golden cupcake under the table (it was in a box) to avoid having the frosting melt in the sun. And promptly left it there. Until Daryl double-checked.

I love that man.

9. Church.
I have a new appreciation for what it's like to be single and mid-20s in the church. It can be lonely to sit by myself in a pew when I don't run into someone I know. It can be difficult to summon the courage to sit with someone new, to meet someone new, week after week. It can be tempting to sleep in, to not bother (and I love church! I'm on my way to pastor-hood, after all!). After these months I'm more committed than ever to making sure there aren't any forgotten demographics in the church - that all are included in worship, events, and retreats.

Not that my church has excluded me in any way (I love, love, love my church, and it hasn't at all), but I do have a new appreciation for the extra strength and courage it takes to go to church alone week after week, and a new focus on reaching out to others around me in the pews who are alone - both those who remain single and those who are newly alone because of a military deployment, an empty nest, or the death of a spouse.

Next, the joys of nine months apart from my husband (and - this may surprise you - there were many).

Reflections as I Plan to Live (Once Again) With My Husband: Part 2

This is my little tribute to the past nine months: the craziness, reflections, difficulties, and joys of the past months my husband and I have spent apart. Installment #2 is dedicated to reflections - what I've learned about myself, my husband, and my marriage after nine months of living far, far apart.

1. I really love my husband.
Living apart has taught me how much Daryl and I just "get" each other. Of all the people in the world, he's the one who knows me best, understands me best, and often knows what I'm feeling before I even speak. I love him, and when he's gone, part of me feels like it's gone, too.

2. No, I really love him.
Seriously.

3. I married a good man.
 We've both been insanely busy this year, Daryl with his first year of PhD studies and traveling to conferences, me finishing my MDiv while working a couple of part-time jobs and participating in a spring play. Yet every few days Daryl will pause to remind me that I am his priority and that he'd drop everything for me in an instant. In November when Eliot got so sick, he proved it.

Daryl has great ambitions and great skill. He is working incredibly hard in his program. Yet I know that, above all, Jesus is his first priority. After that, I am. Even with the prestige of his program, the responsibilities he has taken on, and the name he is building for himself in academia, his priorities are in line. He goes to church every Sunday. He carves out an hour or so to talk to me every day. He sends me sweet emails and notes to remind me that he loves me. He Skypes with his mom and keeps in touch with his dad and brother. He runs tech support for my family when their Macs break down. He occasionally drops everything to help me edit a paper or a job application.

I married a good man, and this year has only reconfirmed how lucky I am.

4. I'm stronger than I thought.
During the past couple of weeks I've done a couple of things without batting an eye that I never, ever did while we were married. I picked up a giant, dead cockroach (I know, right? My apartment building is fifty-ish years old and in quite a state of disrepair...) and threw it away. I cleaned kitty poo off of the rug in the bathroom. I cleaned out a scary, scary tupperware full of month-old soup in the fridge. I scheduled a doctor and a dentist appointment without Daryl reminding me. Little things, I know, but I did them without even thinking. Without balking or hesitating. I just did them, because they needed doing. I'm much more ready to have kids than I was months ago. Living alone has helped me to grow up a bit.

5. I'm weaker than I knew.
Some days I cannot pry myself out of bed with a crowbar. Daryl is good at getting me up on those days. He'll kiss me on the forehead, then talk to me, then shake me a little (if I really, really need it). His last resort is usually, "Well, I'm getting in the shower and you're going to be late..." That usually does it. When it's just me in a comfy, warm bed with two snuggly cats I can easily talk myself out of whatever I had planned for the morning. Early reading? Why? Getting ahead on school? But I can snuggle into my blankets for another hour! Some days I need an extra hand, and without it, I really struggle.

6. Touching is good.
When Daryl and I were first dating we hit a rough patch. We fought about a lot of little things as we worked to deepen our relationship, and I wasn't always sure how to love him in the midst of these arguments. Once, after arguing back and forth for awhile, I put a hand gently on his arm. Then I quickly removed it and apologized. "Sorry," I said. "Is it okay to touch you when we're fighting? Does it bother you?"

"Not at all," he responded. "Touching is good." This became a theme of our relationship. Not that we were overly touchy (we both subscribed to the abstinence-before-marriage program wholeheartedly), but we were free with our affection - an arm around the shoulder, a squeeze of the hand, a hug, a kiss.

The reassuring and healing power of touch is quite an incredible thing. I've read news pieces on third-world orphanages where babies actually die from lack of touch. A close friend of mine recently confided that she's frustrated with being single because no one ever touches her. In our society you touch family and significant others - all other touch is limited to a handshake or perhaps, rarely, a hug from someone of the same sex. Touching has become taboo outside of romantic relationships, driving people toward relationships they may not want or be ready for simply because they are aching to be touched or hugged.

In many other countries, this isn't the case. In much of Spain, friends of the same sex will walk around holding hands or with their arms around one another. In France it's common to get kissed on both cheeks when you're greeted. In Italy hugs come with handshakes. In America we tend to keep to ourselves and touch only our family. During a time where most of us live hundreds (if not thousands) of miles from our families, there is not much human contact.

A professor of mine lost her husband years ago. I sat in front of her at a lecture where the speaker mentioned how rare it is to experience any human contact if you live alone, "particularly if you have lost a spouse." I could hear the professor sigh heavily behind me. This rang true for her. But because of my student status, what could I do? I couldn't offer her a hug; I was her student, she my teacher. But my heart ached for her.

I've found this lack of human contact to be very true this year. By the time it's been two or three weeks apart from Daryl I am positively aching for a hug. Sometimes I go the entire two or three weeks without touching another human being. Sometimes the only human contact I have is handing a paper back to a student, accidentally bumping into someone at the seminary post office, or shaking the hand of a colleague. I realize that I'm lucky - this season will end for me soon. But what about those who go weeks and months between family visits and don't experience any human touch?

Touching is not only good, it's necessary. I don't know the solution - how to encourage more (appropriate) touch in our hyper-sexualized society. But it's worth considering.

7. I'm not doing this again.
I'm glad we did it. We were following the Lord's call and (as Scripture clearly shows), ignoring that is only done at our own peril. But barring another act of God, we are done living apart. Done. Fin. Fo' real.

8. I'm more adventurous when I'm alone.
Marriage has made me a little bit more safe. I take fewer risks when I'm happy and comfortable. This year, on my own, I've rediscovered a more adventurous side of myself. I dress more fashionably, I go out more, I hang out with people more. I'm home less often because there are more fun things to do out in the world than in my little apartment. I've also had time to make some incredible new friends - friends who have made this year not only bearable but full of joy, laughter, insightful conversations, and great fun.

I also got to be in a rockin' play. :)

9. Dietrich Bonhoeffer nailed this idea of what it feels like to be separated, and what we, as Christians, must do to survive it.

For my Ethics and Dietrich Bonhoeffer course I'm currently reading Bonhoeffer's Letters and Papers in Prison. I'm about halfway through it, and on the plane to visit Daryl in Nashville this weekend, I came across this passage. It was so akin to my own experience this year it was almost eerie...

Bonhoeffer was writing to his good friends Renate Wind and Eberhard Bethge. They were newly married and facing a time of separation as Bethge was sent abroad. At this point Bonhoeffer had been in prison for many months, separated from his fiancé, Maria.

"I should like to say something to help you in the time of separation that lies ahead. There is no need to say how hard any such separation is for us; but as I've now been separated for nine months from all the people that I'm devoted to, I should like to pass on to you something of what I have learnt...

"First: nothing can make up for the absence of someone whom we love, and it would be wrong to try to find a substitute; we must simply hold out and see it through. That sounds very hard at first, but at the same time it is a great consolation, for the gap, as long as it rem,ains unfilled, preserves the bonds between us. It is nonsense to say that God fills the gap; he doesn't fill it, but on the contrary, he keeps it empty and so helps us keep alive our former communion with each other, even at the cost of pain.

"Secondly: the dearer and richer our memories, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude changes the pangs of memory into a tranquil joy. The beauties of the past are borne, not as a thorn in the flesh, but as a precious gift in themselves. We must take care not to wallow in our memories or hand ourselves over to them, just as we do not gaze all the time at a valuable present, but only at special times, and apart from these keep it simply as a hidden treasure that is ours for certain. In this way the past gives us lasting joy and strength.

"Thirdly: times of separation are not a total loss or unprofitable for our companionship, or at any rate they need not be so. In spite of all the difficulties that they bring, they can be the means of strengthening fellowship quite remarkably.

"Fourthly: I've learnt here especially that the facts can always be mastered, and that difficulties are magnified out of all proportion simply by fear and anxiety. From the moment we wake until we fall asleep we must commend other people wholly and unreservedly to God and leave them in his hands, and transform our anxiety for them into prayers on their behalf." -Letters and Papers from Prison, 176-7.

Amen, brother. Amen.

On Missing Him

Inspired by my friend, Nish.

This is my Daryl. We've been married for over three years, and I love him more with each one.

We're counting down the days (only 38 now!) until we live together again, when I graduate from my M.Div. program and move to Tennessee with him.

The distance has been terrible. On the phone last night with Daryl I finally found words to describe why it feels so painful. "It's just... unnatural." That's the best way I can describe it. We're married. We love one another. We enjoy each day of our life together, and yet we're spending this year apart. It's absurd, really.

I realize that I am far more blessed than many. I have friends in the military who spend months or even years away from loved ones. But for us, being apart during this year has been hard. Just plain hard.

When I broke my ankle in high school it ached. It didn't hurt that acutely, it just ached. And after a few days of aching, it began to wear me down. Until I had surgery to repair it, nothing made it better. No painkillers or ice or positioning up on a chair took much of the ache away. It just ached, and every once in awhile the ache would be so long-lasting that I would just break down and cry in a choir practice room at school or in my room at home. The ache hadn't become stronger, it just never stopped, and this was exhausting.

In a way, this is what this year has felt like. I don't miss Daryl acutely most of the time. I'm not in terrible emotional pain. I won't die from missing him or "take to the bottle" as some Eagle River folks might say. Yet the ache is always present, and nothing really helps. Distractions help for a little while. Writing papers, rehearsing for the play, traveling to Chicago for meetings, all of these help a little. Morning "I love you" emails from him help a little. Phone calls late at night help; praying together before we go to sleep helps. But the ache is always present. My sorrows are deeper because I cannot share them with Daryl in person. My celebrations are more muted because he is not here to rejoice with me. The dinners I cook are usually haphazard because I often eat them alone. Nothing says "I'm living the life of a single graduate student again" like the dinner I ate last night of guacamole, tortilla chips, and (microwaved) scrambled eggs.

I turned in my PIF (the PCUSA's ministry application) earlier today. It's been a long road to get to the point where I am allowed to do this, so it was a big (okay, HUGE) accomplishment. I called Daryl to share the news, and he celebrated with me. But what I wanted was a "yay! you did it!" hug. A big Daryl bear-hug of congratulations. And I will get it, though I will have to wait another week first. Like I said - it's hard being apart.

Still, God has met us in incredible ways this year. When I met with my Presbytery in Chicago this week, several folks commented that I seemed to have a "new maturity" they didn't see in me last year. I think this is true for us both. After learning to depend on one another in marriage for our first years together, this year apart has taught us to be independent once again, while still relying on each other for support and encouragement. I have a greater sense of self and identity after living through this year. I know more about who I am and what I want, and more about following after Jesus even when my heart aches each moment.

Since this is intended to be a post about Daryl and not about me, here are ten things I love, love, love about him (and also reasons why I can't wait for May!).

1. He is joyful.

2. He is brilliant.
One of the reasons I began to fall in love with Daryl was because I couldn't beat him in an argument. He stood his ground, and he had support to back up his claims. I was fascinated by his mind, and I still am. During my final readiness review at the Presbytery my committee asked me several theological questions and then remarked at how poised and calm I was in my answers. "Well, I do live with a theologian," I said. "We do this over dinner." This is true. And I love it. I'm never, ever bored in our conversations, and there's always something new that's piqued his interest from his reading or writing that he wants to share. This isn't limited to theology, either. There's philosophy, sociology, biblical history, anthropology, and biology floating around in his head, too. He definitely makes for a great road-tripping partner.

3. He is practical.
 I've mentioned this before, but Daryl is the catalyst that makes me go to sleep. One of the worst habits I've developed in his absence is staying up until all hours of the night and dragging my feet on the way to bed. Daryl doesn't think like this. He's mister, "Well, it's time for bed." When we are together he actually brings me my toothbrush as a way to make me head for bed. He knows that once I have to get up and spit, I'll head to bed on my own. It's brilliant, really.

4. He is thoughtful.
I've written before about Daryl's incredible kindness in flying out last minute to rescue our cat. What husband flies hundreds of miles to force-feed a cat? Mine does.

5. He loves Jesus.
Daryl once admitted to me that before he officially decided to marry me, he had one big hurdle to get over. He knew that if he married me, I would follow after Jesus and always, always, always encourage him to do the same. Things that were harder for him, like tithing, would be done because I would encourage them. After we became engaged, I had the same sorts of feelings. Not that either of us was in danger of losing our faith, but marrying someone who is passionate about following Christ is another safeguard our lives of faith. When we are too exhausted to pray, we have someone to pray on our behalf. When we have doubts or concerns, someone is around to help answer them. This was my most basic criteria for a husband, and Daryl meets it 200%.

6. He can cook!
Boy, do I miss this... I grew up with a father and mother who both cooked (and well!), so sharing responsibilities in the kitchen is a sure way to my heart. Cooking me dinner is an even surer way, and when we're together he does this often.

7. He is hilarious.
 I miss not being able to fall asleep because we're lying in bed laughing together. Often when one of us has had a bad day and are talking about it, we'll just dissolve into laughter. I mean, think about it, how many bad days are really funny when it comes right down to it? So many times we begin with frustration or irritation and end in giggles.

8. He is giving.


9. He loves sports.
This might sound a little silly, but I grew up with sports on the television often. My Dad is a great lover of sports (according to my mom, he'll "watch anything with a ball"). So to marry someone who is much the same makes me feel really at home. Depending on the season our Saturdays are full of football, college basketball, World Cup games, NBA basketball, or the occasional baseball or hockey game. And I do now what I did as a kid - find something to busy myself with (crochet and crosswords if I'm relaxing, schoolwork if I'm not), and sit with the man of the house. Despite myself I'm almost becoming a fan, too...


10. He loves me. 
He really does. Not just on paper. Not just a little. The first thing I do when I wake up is pray. Dietrich Bonhoeffer in his book Life Together writes about the importance of giving God the first and last words in a day, and I agree. So I pray, asking the Lord for guidance, thanking God for waking me up to a brand new day. And then I think about how blessed I am to have such a husband, and how much I can't wait to live with him again... Soon. Very, very soon.

I'll just make it.

Ten on Tuesday (Take Six)

 Courtesy of my friend, Megan.


1. If you were given an hour to use a $200 Amazon gift card, what would you buy?
Novels. Glorious, interesting, assorted novels. I always have a running list of ten or twelve that I'm dying to read, and there's something about owning them in paperback that makes me infinitely happy. They're like reading candy, with all their beautiful colored jackets. I don't own them to be selfish, either. I probably give 3/4 of them away to friends because I love them (the novels and the friends) so much I want them to be together.

Over break I read this, and it was amazing:

2. Are there any fairly common foods that you’ve never had?
I'm scared of sauerkraut, and have avoided it to this point. Is that common? Also, brats are a staple in Wisconsin, and I've never eaten one. I had a babysitter when I was in kindergarten that told me I couldn't leave the table until I ate the brat she cooked for me. I sat there until my mom came to pick me up hours later. Totally worth it.


3. What was your favorite way to use your imagination as a kid?
My sisters and I (and my friend Tonia, once she had been ingrafted into the sisterhood) put on elaborate shows. Dancing shows, musical shows, ice skating shows. They were complicated and involved many, many costume changes. I was always the star. Tonia was the secondary star. Poor Caitlyn was relegated to the supporting characters - Chip, the teacup, when we played Beauty and the Beast. Rajah, the tiger, when we played Aladdin. She was a good sport and I owe her many nice Christmas presents for putting up with my bossy self.

4. What’s your favorite state? Why?
I love Wisconsin. Always, always will. I've now lived in five states (WI, IL, NJ, CO, and CA), been to almost all of them (minus the Pacific northwest, which I am dying, dying, dying to see!), and they all have their own type of charm. Sometimes that charm takes a bit to uncover (NJ?), and other times it's so obvious it smacks you in the face (CA!), but it's always there in some form. It just can't compare to the kindness-of-strangers charm of Wisconsin.

5. If it was our culture to have our parents choose our spouses, do you think yours would make a good choice?
Oh goodness... In some ways yes (he would certainly love Jesus) and in other ways, maybe no. I love my Daryl, and I don't know if he is the guy they would have chosen for me in part because they never would have run into him in his Los Angeles habitat (though now they're thrilled I chose him!). I'm encouraged to know that they never would have chosen someone like one of my well-meaning relatives once did. He set us up on a date of sorts, and the first thing prospective-boyfriend-guy asked me was, "So.... can you cook?" Date over.

6. What’s your favorite herb?
I'm with Megan on this one. Cilantro. Though rosemary is a close second, especially with beef in soups. Mmmm... When we move to Nashville I'm starting an herb garden. Mmmm... fresh rosemary!

7. If you could have dinner with one celebrity, who would you choose?
Assuming we mean celebrity in terms of movies/film, Jeff Bridges. Married to his wife for 33 years, an incredible actor, just won a well-deserved Oscar, plus: he's the dude!

If we can include novelists, then my list grows much, much longer. I always wanted to meet David Foster Wallace, but sadly, that can no longer happen.

As for sports figures, I have a pretty substantial figure-skating crush on Evan Lysacek and I certainly wouldn't mind meeting Brett Favre or Derek Fisher.

8. What’s your favorite Disney movie?
I love Ratatouille. It is the perfect adult-kid movie, and it symbolizes the relationship with food I am now discovering (good food = gooooooood food). In my more kid-like moments I love Monsters, Inc. the best. As a kid I was head-over-heels in love with Aladdin. I wanted to BE Princess Jasmine with a pet tiger and a scandalous midriff-bearing blue outfit, riding magic carpets. Sometimes I still do.

9. If you had to listen to the same song over and over for 24 hours, what song would you choose?
"You're Beautiful" by James Blunt. I don't know why. It's kind of a dumb song, actually, but the acoustic-y melody gets in my head and helps me to be productive. In English graduate school I would play this on repeat until Daryl would change it himself, he was so tired of it. But hey, James helped me write some pretty darn good papers!

10. How do you order your steak?
Medium well, unless I'm trying to impress someone, like the French chef at the restaurant Daryl and I were gifted a dinner at over spring break. Then I say medium, so I don't sound so uncultured and charcoal-loving. And sometimes I even enjoy a medium steak, though sometimes (I'm embarrassed to admit), I just eat around the periphery and save the innards for Daryl, who likes his meat to moo.

Ten on Tuesday (Take Five-ish)

Today's Ten on Tuesday (that, yes, is being posted on Monday, but my Tuesday will be quite busy!) will have a vocational theme, since this is what's on my mind these days. As a Candidate in the PCUSA, I am near the end of the ordination process. My dream of all dreams is to receive a call as a pastor, to spend my days serving God and the church with all that I am. Lord willing, if goes well ("if the way be clear" is the official Presbyterian phrase often used here) I will be certified as ready for ordination at the end of March. Once I'm certified, I can officially look for a "call" (Presbyterian-ese for "pastoral job"). And this makes me excited and nervous and hopeful and excited.

This is me in my university chaplain internship days. I miss these students! I run into some of them when I'm teaching, but I miss hanging out with them all week and leading Bible studies. They're incredible, incredible folks.

So in honor of the call/job search that I am currently beginning to embark upon, I will answer the following ten vocational questions:

1. What is the best job you've ever had?
 I've had a lot of "best" jobs, but they were great in different ways. I loved, loved, loved working at Wheaton College's rock climbing wall. I taught students and staff how to climb and belay, set new routes on the wall, and (when I wasn't doing either of those two things), hung around and talked about climbing all day. It rocked. Pun intended.

The job that was best for my personal growth was my summer CPE (Clinical Pastoral Education) internship. I worked as a hospital chaplaincy intern, and in three months it really felt like I saw it all. Brand new life, miraculous recoveries, incredible suffering, death, grief. Injuries that I didn't know were possible (did you know that it's possible for your legs and various other parts of your body to fill up with fluid and swell up to four or five times their original size?! Me neither, before this summer. Eep.) CPE is structured with prayer, reflection, chaplaincy work, debriefing, and supervisory sessions. It's a crucible, that's for sure, but with the right supervisors it's also an incredible and transforming experience. It wore me out at times, but I loved it.

I was a bar pianist back home in Eagle River. That was a blast. It got hilarious later in the evening when people had had several drinks with dinner and would request things I had just played. "I haven't thought of this song in years and years, but would you play 'Misty'?" Uh... sure. Just like I did six minutes ago? But I got free chocolate cake (mmmm... the BEST chocolate cake), nice tips, and an excuse to wear fancy dresses on top of it all. It was SO fun.

2. Have you ever had an internship?
I have had four internships. FOUR. One editorial internship at a rock climbing magazine in Colorado (fun, fun, fun) and three ministry related internships. I've enjoyed them all and learned a great deal, but I'm ready to be a non-intern for a change. Here's to the end of interning and the beginning of working jobs that last longer than an academic year or a summer! Hooray!!! 


3. What is the worst job you've ever had?
I worked at an office furniture company for a summer years ago. It was a great company and the people (including my boss) were really amazing, but the job itself would have perfectly fit someone with the exact opposite personality traits that I have. It was a position for an extroverted, non-type-A, incredibly flexible, very organized person. I am an introverted, not particularly organized, relatively type-A, and very focused person. It did not go well.


4. What kind of boss will you be (or are you, if you already supervise others)?
A good one, I hope. The pastor I interned with a few summers ago and my CPE supervisors are my models for this. Under their leadership I always felt like I had great gifts to offer the world.

5. How many jobs have you ever worked at one time?
Oh goodness... Last year at seminary I was a full-time seminary student (I certainly count this as a job), a university chaplain intern (10-12 hours per week), a teaching assistant at the seminary (10-ish hours per week), and an adjunct professor at a nearby university (10-ish hours per week). Needless to say, Daryl did 99% of the housework AND cooked me a lot of dinners. I believe my entire household duties were as follows: 1) Feed the cats. 2) Load and unload the dishwasher. By November Daryl took over feeding the cats, too. Love that man.

6. What is a job you would be worst at?
Anything that involved hurtling through space at high speeds. Astronaut, circus performer, ski jumper. Also, anything involving higher, higher math. Nuclear physicist, NASA engineer, etc.

7. What is a job you aren't currently pursuing that you'd be good at?
I think I could be a really great gluten-free bakery owner. I love to bake, and I'd love to give people who can't eat gluten the joy of eating a gluten-free but incredibly yummy cupcake or cookie or even wedding cake. It's hard to truly understand gratitude until you've fed a gf baked good to a gf-er. They might kiss you.

8. What was your first job?
Cleaning chalets at Zaugg's resort. I can now say that I cleaned the cabins that belonged to the resort of the parents of Jinelle Zaugg-Siergiej, Olympic silver medalist. Woot.

9. What's your most marketable attribute?
Pastorally, my preaching and pastoral care skills. Teaching-wise, my strong student evaluations. As a chaplain, my ability to think quickly on my feet and not overreact to any perceived craziness/medical disaster.

10. Are you good at job interviews? 
Usually. Unless I get really, really nervous, and then I can say stupid things by accident. When a member of the admissions staff at Wheaton College interviewed me as a high school senior (granted, this was not a job interview, but still...) I was totally unprepared. I wasn't expecting the call, and I got really flustered. Then the woman asked me what I liked to do for fun. My response? "Well, I sometimes skip school to go snowboarding..." Well done, Courtney. Well done.

What about you all? Best job? Worst one? Job prospects for the future? Gratitude for a great current job? Spill!

Snow Day Take Two: Dream House Edition I

Well, I'm snowed in again. This isn't as fun as it would be on, say, a Monday, since I don't have any classes or work today anyway. Just lots of reading, editing, and studying. But it is fun to look out the window and see everyone's cars buried.

In honor of the snow day, and the soon-to-come celebration Daryl and I are planning when we're officially back together (hint: it may involve Disneyland), I've decided to start looking at pictures of rooms and decorations, in hopes of planning the colors and ideas of the new place we'll live in Nashville. We're not sure yet if it will be an apartment or a small house, but we do know three things:

1) We will be painting the walls. All of them. Beautiful colors. After four years living in campus dorms and houses at Wheaton, one year in an apartment building that didn't allow painting, and three years in Princeton Seminary housing, we are sick of white walls. They make us feel institutionalized. And sad. And bored. My life needs COLOR, and lots of it.

2. The place we live will have good natural light. This is Daryl's only requirement. He loves light like a mouse loves cheese. He needs light like bacon needs eggs. The man's a natural light-loving fiend.

3. There will be a washer and dryer. Washing and drying clothes will not involve hiking down to a mold-infested, flooded basement full of spiders and insects. This is my only requirement (other than the painting).

We don't plan to buy much additional furniture, as we're pretty well stocked in that department. So in the spirit of using what we have and designing something beautiful, I've found these photos depicting interesting and beautiful rooms using our basic furniture:


Living room:

These are actually our exact couches. I love the warm gold walls with the red  couches, the beautiful colors of art on the back wall (though Daryl might nix the flowers and go for something more abstract), and the dark end tables. The curtains are beautiful, too, and I hope to be able to sew something like that soon. I wouldn't have thought to put the light-colored rug under the table, but I kinda like it. I'd either use that or the current rug we have with deeper browns, reds, and greens in it.









Bathroom:

 I know, I know, we probably won't have a super-modern-looking bathroom like this. But here I'm more interested in the color choices. After living with a bright pink bathroom (all the married apartments have them...) with several colors of pink (tile, tub, etc.), I'm about colored out in the bathroom department. I want the bathroom to be clean, simple, and soothing. When I wake up at 6am, grouchy and groggy, and stumble to the shower, I want it to communicate that this day will be okay. Also, I love the pale blue and tan. It feels like a spa to me.




The next edition will involve bedrooms and kitchens... Stay tuned...

Photos borrowed from c-thruwindows.com and terryfrank.net. 

Ten on... Thursday

Life has just gotten a bit crazy. Usually I have a few hours in my day to myself, but now that this semester has ramped up, I am running pretty hard all day. This, combined with finishing up my final documents for my readiness review at the Presbytery of Chicago in a couple of weeks, polishing a sermon for March 7, looking around for jobs in Nashville, rehearsing the spring play at the seminary, and teaching a course at Rider that I haven't taught in two years makes for a busy girl. So those are my excuses as to why this blog has begun to be a bit sparse. It's my intention to post every day. But... hey. Sometimes not.

Anyway, my ten questions:

1. Do you know any famous people?

I know Jinelle Zaugg-Siergiej, an Olympic hockey player who will have either a gold or a silver (but my money's on gold!) medal by 9pm EST tonight. She's newly famous, and handling it well.

I know Evan Dollard, winner of a season of American Gladiators. He was the head lifeguard at Silver Birch Ranch summer camp when I worked there for a summer. Really nice guy, solid Christian, and a face made for television. If there was one person I knew who I would expect to be on a sports-related reality television show, it's Evan (well, Evan and Jinelle's two older brothers).

Other than that I know quite a few sort-of-famous folks. The professor I work as a T.A. for is a Shakespearean actor who's been in some movies (he's on IMDB - that's pretty stinkin' cool). One of the men from the Bible study Daryl and I led in Burbank has been on Law & Order. I once walked right by Jude Law in New York City and Justin Chambers (of Grey's Anatomy fame) at the Getty in Los Angeles. That's about it. Living in Wisconsin the most famous person you ever come across is the fishing guide, Joe Bucher. And yes, he's a big deal.

2. What's the strangest thing you've ever eaten?
I am a fussy eater. I'm getting better (in part due to the whole gluten-free thing where my options are limited...), but I'm still more picky than most. I don't think I've ever eaten anything considered strange, unless you count a pound of cotton candy all in one sitting... Yeah, I guess that's not normal.

3. What's one thing you want so much in life that you're almost afraid to hope for it?
To be a pastor. After this whole seminary journey with all its ups, downs, and unpaid internships, I'm almost afraid to hope that I'll actually be able to fulfill my vocational calling in some capacity in the near future. Really? This was all going somewhere?

4. What's your favorite thing about your significant other?
Everything. He's just the best. Today my favorite thing is his voice over the phone. It's comforting, even from hundreds of miles away. I also like that he cooks and cleans. And that he's tall. I like tall.

5. How many extra hours in a day do you need?
I'm always convicted about how I use my days... I have the same number of hours as everyone else, the same number of hours in a day given to all of us by God to use and rest in. I'm trying to find a balance between frantically doing things all day or recovering from my frantic doing for most of the next. Still working on that one.

6. What is the best magazine to read on a plane?
Anything celebrity gossip-y. Nothing helps pass the time like what Catherine Zeta-Jones is wearing or learning that pink is the new black. I've given up celebrity gossip for Lent, though, so I don't know the answers to life's deep questions anymore right now. You'll have to ask someone else who Mary-Kate Olson is dating.

7. What's your favorite article of clothing?
I love my black fleece. It is getting old and kinda ratty, but it just makes me feel so safe and happy and warm. It's my go-to when I'm getting over a cold or headed out for a long day of class in the snow.

8. Will you ever be famous yourself?
I can hear in my head how Megan would answer this ("No, but I may be infamous!"). I hope not. I want to live a meaningful, grounded life. Also, the paparazzi would drive me nuts. I never want to lose the freedom to leave the house for groceries without selecting the right shade of eyeliner. Or any makeup at all. Or matching socks.

9. What's one random thing that you're afraid of?
Librarians.

10.  What's one thing you wish you could change about your house or apartment? 
Just one? Today I wish our apartment building's basement didn't have three inches of standing water in it. And TONS of mold (which is probably giving me cancer as we speak). I can't do laundry until the water recedes or I'll electrocute myself, and I'm running low on socks. And pants.


Don't forget to watch Jinelle's team play Canada tonight at 6:00pm on MSNBC! I don't get this channel (BOO, NBC! programmers! Booooooo!), so I'm heading out to a local restaurant with some seminary friends. We will be cheering from New Jersey!

Ten on Tuesday (Take Four)

It's one in the morning, and I should totally go to sleep, but I had a meeting tonight until 10:30pm, and so I missed the Olympics. And NBC airs their prime time coverage again from 12:45-4am. This is potentially really bad... It's good the Olympics only come once every two years, or I'd be a much more sleep deprived girl... How can a person sleep when there is SPEED SKATING?!?! I'm also trying to satiate some of my Olympics voyeurism now, since I don't get MSNBC (and thus, can't watch the next two women's hockey games... grrrr...).

Also, while I'm ranting on NBC, let me say three things:

1. Air the darned hockey games on network or at least basic cable. All of them. I don't care if it's 4am; I'll watch.

2. Enough with the awkward Dick Button/Bob Costas/other random oldish guy talking head rambles in the arm chairs. They're boring. Also, the arm chair fireplace scene is just awkward. And boring.

3. Stop showing the first pairs skaters early and then waiting three hours to show the rest. Not all the world has TiVo, and not all the world has enough time to watch four hours of television. Showing the skaters all together adds intensity and suspense. You know, like it's all the same event or something, and it matters who wins. Honestly...

On to Ten on Tuesday:

1. What's your favorite midnight snack?

A bowl of cereal. Cereal's always been my comfort zone. When I was home over Christmas break I realized where I get this - my dad is a serial cereal-eater. Though now I just finished a piece of gf cornbread and some chocolate milk. Mmmm...

2. Do you eat junk food everyday?

Sigh... Yes. I do. I thought that everyone did, until I was hanging out with some friends over spring break last year. One of them noticed me rifling through my purse for some candy, which I then popped in my mouth. 

"You really like candy, don't you?" she asked. I nodded. "Do you eat some every day?" she asked. I nodded. 

"Don't you?" I asked. The question seemed really odd to me. She wasn't a health nut or anything.

"Nope." 

That was the first time in my then-26 years of life that I realized not everyone eats at least a tiny bit of junk every day. Definitely no one in my family (extended family included) goes an entire day without a handful of M & Ms or popcorn or a scoop of ice cream. We eat plenty of healthy things. We're not junk food-aholics (well, my candy-addicted sister Caroline may be the exception to this), but we do like a little taste of something tasty every day. That's why dessert was invented, right?

3. What is the one, single food that you would never give up?

Garlic mashed potatoes. Mmmm... My sister's husband Jared makes the most amazing version of these.

4. What is your weirdest "quirk"?

That sounds more like a question for Daryl. Do we ever know what our own weirdest quirk is? Probably the hours I keep when I'm left to myself without a roommate or husband. When I don't have anything to get up for early in the morning I'll stay up until 3am and sleep in until 10 or 11am. See tonight's example, for instance... I realize this is not normal (or very healthy) for someone my age. Time to be a grown-up, Courtney. After the Olympics, though. Really.

I also would always rather read a paperback book than a hardback one. Occasionally people give me really nice hardback books as gifts, and my inner response is usually, "Uh... this is hard to read." I do 99% of my pleasure reading on a plane, a beach, or in bed before I fall asleep. Novels are easy to hold; hardback books are cumbersome. They also feel too pretentious to me. If I can't underline or write in the margins, I need a less fussy form of book.

5. What's your favorite movie?

Miracle. You can't be a hockey fan and not like Miracle. One of my favorite things about it (besides the fact that it is so true to the original story) is that most of the team was played by hockey players trained to act rather than actors trained to play hockey. The skills are all there, and it's great to watch. Also, how amazing is Kurt Russel at becoming Herb Brooks? Holy cow. It was so accurate it was eerie. And awesome.

6. What was your favorite toy as a kid?

I had an old wooden rocking horse with a yarn mane that I named "Hazel Horse" (my grandparents lived in a town called Hazelhurst, which I'm sure was my inspiration). I probably logged a thousand rocking miles on that horse. I also had a yellow teddy bear named "Yellow Bear" (not that creative, I'll admit) and a pink fluffy one named "Snuggle Bear." One was skinny and one was fat, and they went everywhere with me. I still have them back at my parents' house, and though they're both very worn and missing lots of stuffing, their smell still brings me back to childhood. I loved those bears. We had lots of adventures.

7. Do you like school?

I must like it at least a little bit; I'm currently in my 20th year of it...

8. What do you think is the most useless class in high school?

Health class. Teenagers already know how to wash their hands, thanks. Plus, if they're addicted to junk food a lecture on the food pyramid is certainly not going to change anything (see question one...).

9. What's your favorite day of the year?

Christmas. And then Easter. The older I get the more I fall in love with Easter. It just doesn't get better than remembering that Christ is risen!

10. Last person you argued with?

I had a very small mini-argument (a discussion, really) with the professor who is directing the seminary's spring play. I play a character who has a lengthy and flirtatious encounter with a soldier. During this encounter I am holding a 15-pound goose in a bag (long story - come see The Caucasian Chalk Circle at the seminary on April 8, 9, 10, or 11, and it will all make sense). I wanted to put the goose down to flirt (I don't feel all that flirtatious while holding a massive goose), but I was overruled by both the director and the soldier with whom I am flirting. In retrospect, they were right and I was wrong. It's awkward to put the goose down, so I'll hold that massive goose, darn it. 

Alrighty, on to watching the Olymp--... wait, seriously? Did they just tell me who placed where in the men's downhill? BEFORE showing it? So now there's no point in watching? Brilliant, NBC. 

I'm off to bed.