This can be easy to forget. As Daryl and I headed off to seminary three years ago, I remember confiding some of my shallow fears to him during our drive from Chicago to New Jersey.
"I don't want to be shabby," I said (as if that were the worst fate that could befall a 20-something woman). "I know we're going to have to sacrifice a lot, and I know that money will be really tight, but I don't want to look shabby." I had visions of wearing the same handful of t-shirts every day to class and work, of scrounging at thrift stores for a wearable pair of shoes, of graduating from seminary without a single fashionable or well-fitting piece of clothing to wear before my Presbytery for an important meeting.
How quickly our thoughts can go crazy when faced with the prospect of sacrifices--even small ones.
My deepest fears (of course) never came to fruition. Not only do most of my clothes from three years ago still work fine, but friends and family members have been generous with Christmas and birthday gifts to help us through seminary financially. We've had to budget, certainly. We have some student loan debt from our schooling, despite my part-time jobs, but that was to be expected. But God has always provided for us. Sometimes via our home church, sometimes via friends and family, sometimes in surprising ways. In a year full of plane trips, we've each been bumped several times and received free flight vouchers. Through the kindness of friends, we ended up with a free place for Daryl to stay in Nashville and a free car to use for the academic year. Just the other day I opened up an envelope full of crossword puzzles (my grandma cuts them out of the paper and mails them to me - always one of the happy things in my week!), and $20 fluttered out onto the floor. We're reminded almost daily that God has not forgotten us.
I'm held speech conferences last week with the junior seminary students. We watched their video presentations of Scripture and poetry readings and talked about how they've progressed over the semester. Then we discussed their final projects: a reading and retelling of a Scripture passage of their choice. One of the students brought in a passage from John - the wedding at Cana. After she left the conference I found myself riveted to the passage and to all it says about who our God is.
Here is the passage:
On the third day a wedding took place at Cana in Galilee. Jesus' mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. When the wine was gone, Jesus' mother said to him, "They have no more wine."
"Dear woman, why do you involve me?" Jesus replied, "My time has not yet come."
His mother said to the servants, "Do whatever he tells you."
Nearby stood six stone water jars, the kind used by the Jews for ceremonial washing, each holding from twenty to thirty gallons.
Jesus said to the servants, "Fill the jars with water"; so they filled them to the brim.
Then he told them, "Now draw some out and take it to the master of the banquet."
They did so, and the master of the banquet tasted the water that had been turned into wine. He did not realize where it had come from, though the servants who had drawn the water knew. Then he called the bridegroom aside and said, "Everyone brings out the choice wine first and then the cheaper wine after the guests have had too much to drink; but you have saved the best till now."
This, the first of his miraculous signs, Jesus performed in Cana of Galilee. He thus revealed his glory, and his disciples put their faith in him.
With Easter approaching, it's a great time to think about abundance. Christ doesn't just conquer sin and death on our behalf, he destroys it. He rises from the dead. He brings us new life, not just band-aids for our wounds. He redeems and transforms us, doesn't just help us to behave ourselves.
I love the theme of this passage in John. The wedding is out of wine. Sometimes I'm tempted to view this lack of wine as just a cultural faux pas, and surely God doesn't care about this, right? Why should the God of the universe care about a small wedding that has run out of the beverage of choice? Can't the people just make do without it? Why bother God with such a silly request? But to God, no request is silly. And not only that, God breaks in with the miraculous into the mundane. God does more and better than the people's request. God doesn't give us just enough, so we can squeak by. God breaks in with abundance. Our cups overflow. The wine is not only more than enough for the wedding, but it is the best wine.
We don't always get what we want from God, but we get what we need. And often, we get over and above what we even asked. I was afraid of being shabby in outward appearance during seminary, but during my time here the Lord has spoken to my heart, stretched me in my ministerial gifts, and helped me to mature in my faith. My heart is stronger than it was, and my sense of self more firm. God has given me all of that and a new pair of shoes now and again. The shoes seem silly, but God cares about the sparrows and my need to be presentable and professional has not escaped God either. I have not been forgotten, even in my smallest need. Neither have you. Our God is a God of abundance.
*The "Wedding at Cana" artwork is by Dr. He Qi, seminary professor at Union Seminary of Nanjing, and is found here.
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